We met Hoolie one night we heard the dogs barking again, and Mike had just about had enough of those guys from the Casa Medio Camino passing by and insulting the bitches, so he went out like he was gonna rake the pool but then he ran up to the fence and starting shouting at this poor felon "hey you have a prolm, come and work it out, it's between you and my dog," and the guy comes up pretty calm, but what choice did he have really, of running ahead to his group home, what a humiliation, or facing La-La's daddy. He's coming up about the pace of a field hand over furrows, and Mike says "you have a prolm with one of my bitches you can just come on in here and work it out in person," you know? The guy tries to say sunthing and Mike just says "no, no, it's okay, I'll open up the gate, but no fair bringing weapons." He says "no fair bringing weapons so you'll have to come in all naked and defenseless just like she is." Cuz those are the terms upon which she is willing to engage you, sir.
Then before you could even have time to ponder it, there is Hoolie ass to the moon in the yard with La-La, just standing, facing off but askew. Not but the next frame they are rolling into each other, billiards like, in the sand. La-La, who everyone knows is the biggest joker, act like she's trying to hump him, then she bites his ankle, Hoolie shakes his head like a madman, flying ropes of spittle... too bad we don't have pictures of this! They were good buddies all right, so we trusted him too. He still has never crossed the threshold with a stitch of clothes. But if we're ever in danger or wonder who it is there, creeping up through the desert from the liquor store late in the evening, it's Hoolie. If someone ganks our license plate or swipes the power washer off the driveway, if it isn't him we know he can help us think of "whom." We call him Prince of Alba because he's so white. With the whole of his flesh, he's enchanted us and rules yet.
Mike and Donna
[when we were together-- D.D.T.Ph.D.]
Limerick Ode To “National Short Person Day”
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