Crash

The K5000 has been brought down in less than a day. 

Once a critical mass of friday fun day participants had been catalogued, located, and contacted, the now grownup Jans started learning the chant backwards. It was their best and only guess left at disconnecting their RMP grafts, which were initially put in place by the K5000 with the chant and the help of the nuns. 

muffins virtue muffins me send am first demons your eat me demon virtue

your am or first demons your eat Mthyuh virtue a send demons your send

your send or first me eat demons your muffin virtue virtue a am am i Mthyuh i

demons your send or first me eat Mthyuh muffin virtue a am i virtue a am i 

Peg's flesh lays once again steaming and broken of dignity 

this time strewn across 100 yards of beach like a massive 

alligator die-off and on, deeply, into the remains of a seaside thrill park

A Wherris feel is employed to load and distribute carfuls of her 

tissue into a slowly progressing line of open lorry beds

This is how broken her body is. It's difficult to make out the basic architecture, either the original one born of prehistory or the second one, conceived and constructed by the radical Jans who infiltrated the Mthyuh Preservation Society (MPS) Inter-special Workgroup (IW). Instead of bringing back god,

they had reached back in time to abduct and torture the daughter of god

they did it not even out of curiosity but rather to please the MPS preece 

by filling their wats with incense comfort illusion beyond relic living

relic that can be worn and operated as one with the deities worshippers

relics that can be reproduced and ranched for their precious sluff

relics of a time when just the monster was enough

 

There is surprisingly little to show for any parts of the K5000 that were not also parts of Peg: a few stone needles, a reimagined public oracle dispenser donut, sun-powered through hundreds of eyelid panels, most of which disintegrated on impact. They look like enormous dead lice among the tangled jungles and prickly coppices that were Peg's eyelashes.

We're sitting in the kitchen and we're more afraid now to go out than

while the machine was overhead because at least then life was predictable

Now our bodies seem not so cheap but more likely to succumb

To everything except for what they just got free of

But we'll succumb freely and maybe one day life will truly be all about choices

Quick takes during and among the first hours after the crash of the K5000
by Phyllis [embedded] Sports N' Sex Crimes Bugle

meat lens

I should add that Dr. Thong suggested going on MPS disability because of the anticipated side effects of the time graft, not because she's expecting me to be taken down by K5000 directly at this point. 

You speak of Dr. Thong, whose father was a butcher, and therefore sees public health through a meat lens.

Yes, don't we all? 

Well congratulations for not dodging or shrinking away from a timely decision. It's all about choices, y'know?

No. But it's an appropriate time for me to claim my entitlement. 

Ya you must milk the MPS early and often, as they say!

MPS proudly fulfills its promises because its promises are rooted in its purpose, its purpose in its mission, and its mission in its identity, which is slave and vittlement for LaMthyuh. 

Of course your point is that you are not planning your funeral, just tidying up to avoid having to confront all that in a hurry in the unlikely event of palliative failure. 

Actually, I am and have been planning my funeral for as long as i can remember. Have i mentioned? I'm leaning toward blasting Stooges' "Loose" before during and after the catapult hurls me into Mthyuh's pyre. 

Perhaps you just want to assure me that quitting all your jobs and cashing in your pension is not a red flag for imminent disaster. 

That's it. That's the one! Because it's not. 

Overheard on a cloudy afternoon near Santorabo Wat, St. Dick, Jansterdam
Phyllis [embedded]

Golden hour

In this golden hour the clouds were filthy and low

Their concerns were petty and they were posing

inappropriately to the moon, which was waning

How could they do this to you millions of significant

others were asking, how that? don't they know?

Miserly storms only blustered and spat

Humidity drew out but did not disperse

the urine of the dead and the infirm

Voices chemically cried out beyond the terminus

by Missy

Back at the boys' home university club whatever

After decimating the tudor-style great room, kitchen, and gardens of the hottest and most entitled frat boys' house at the College of Cement, Peg stands and watches them quarrel. As she listens she thinks, "It's really no wonder that they are now a minority in higher education. In just another generation, the sexiest and most privileged Jan men will end up in air force cockpits, not dank party rooms."

Jan: Oh my god. I'm too afraid to even run.

Jan: Shut up! She's. Right. There.

Jan: ...

Jan: What do we do? 

Jan: MPS says stay calm follow instructions. 

Jan: Eff that! We don't follow no instructions we give them, bitches!

Jan: Why are you whispering that?

Jan: ...

Jan: The gospels say that we've all wrought this horror and the only path forward is to follow the path. 

Jan: The Path of

Jan: There is only one path.

Jan: ...

Jan: By the way as a kid did you ever play that friday fun day game with the MPS nuns? 

Jan: Yes.

Jan: Then you can relax because the K5000 has a plan and it's being executed in part in part of your brain. 

Jan: You said in part in part. 

Jan: Part of the plan is being executed partly up in the K5000 and partly in your brain. It's a concept most people understand. 

Phyliss [embedded]

It's all the same effing day, man

At the same moment, more than 7,000 inhabitants of the Chanklands woke up and scrawled these same lines, or others to this very same effect, into their bedside slates: 

I feel like I'm just dodging fireballs. Going from crisis to crisis, I wonder if there is time for each one to make me stronger not weaker. This doesn't seem to be life as usual, as intended, or as advertised. There is a strange combination of urgency and dread growing in those around me as well. 

Upon examining these slate entries, and considering the amount of disinformative propaganda Chanklanders are daily subjected to by MPS, we can't help asking whether the message is not an outcome of run-of-the-mill neurotic catastrophizing grown to the scale of a sociopathology through shared environmental stimuli. 

But let's be real. Look around you, and look above. Peg's ghost, her machinated body, glides and blinks. And there are fireballs, actual fireballs. Mthyuh is gathering her bowels for an obliterating event. 

Any normal follower of a critical path would do well to ask, "What are the arguments and evidence to the contrary?" 

Unfortunately, this first question is an easy one to answer. There are no arguments or evidence to the contrary. 

Q2: How about the promise of a future when current adversities will have passed? 

A: The evidence we now have at hand is not supportive of the concept of a future that will be different or better than the present in any significant sense. The Institute does not opine on matters of after-death experience. 

Q3: Can't we continue to count on the Filter of Loathing as our primary shield from the effects of math, physics, and biology? 

A: The Filter of Loathing can only function insofar as you can. The Filter cannot protect those who do not currently exist. It also cannot protect your loved ones from the shame of your behavior from this point through to the terminal. 

Q4: How about the resort of dissociative palliation to filter the harsh realities of the mind and the senses in their rawest state? 

A: While palliative treatments have played an important role in preventing civil unrest, issues with access and distribution as well as blowing past therapeutic ceilings will be seen soon as conditions worsen. 

Q5: Can't I just increase the levels of my palliative treatments? 

A: The palliative levels that would be required to dissociate effectively from this environment would have a serious impact on basic functioning and affect to the point where they would begin to cause more adversity and increase unrequitable and unauthorized palliative-seeking behaviors with escalating desperation. This well-documented cycle does not fit the definition of a future that is "the same or better than" the current environment. 

Q6: But... wait!

A: Although that's not exactly a question, we can confidently assert that the concept of "waiting" cannot be appropriately applied to our situation or environment. It's all the same effing day, man. And it's just about over. 

 

 

by: Dr. Donna Thong
from: URGENT: RE: Anomalous "Sociopathological" Event in the Chanklands
Journal for the Institute of Metacognitive Talk Therapy Apologists

Phyliss [trans.]

Nice pirouettes!

When today the madame mistress Mlaf, goddess of astrology, the generations, and la dance, said to me and she really said it to me she said 

Nice pirouettes!

And this to me and to all who know the sister, a primary missionary of la dance her ravishing mothership, Ms. Mkidza Mlaf, to all who know her, and to me, this means that the student has invisibly and inaudibly been graduated not to the next consecutive course in the series at the academy de la dance, but rather, nice pirouettes means that you have ascended to another level altogether: at the academy, but also and most importantly in la dance herself, and therefore in life, a life of dance to dance the life of living dance and dance the dance to live that life of dance to dance the dance, la dance. 

by Missy

Hypomania is the only legitimate response

When your society is sick and your response is to fight

even if fighting is against your peaceful nature which has now become

a craven and apathetic nature

you must fight in the way your scope and compass fail

and although you are not depressed you might want to try

Getupstandup, by Pharmsupply

from: Prolabique LipLine Master-Lisp by Pharmsupply "Lipstickventory" Name Galleys 096

Tilly's Freak Guide

Signs that a K bitch may strike you:

squinting

grimacing

squeezing eyelids shut hard while drawing lips back against teeth

sudden and sustained eye contact

circling

diving 

balling of fists or toes

reaching for dangerous items [esp. heavy vehicles]

passive assault/ signifying/ impolity

dry chomping 

swoop-and-bump

clutch, lift, and drop 

screeching/laughing [any dB =/> stun level]

massive release of gases

scoop & dump of raw surface materials

drop-and-splash behaviors [outside designated ceremonial events]

no-touch microclimate management [WWW: Wind, Wave and Wing]

performative group-target signaling (PGTS: see appendix)

from: Tilly's Freak Guide: The Chanklands

by: La Reptily-ily 
Phyliss [trans.]

crass categorization of peoples

Jan and Peg are bouncing in the roiling waters of a volcanic abscess and checking in. Their thoughts turn reflective as the redundant suns set once again, and as always, forming shapes and colors that no one could ever predict. Because their throats are mostly meant for swallowing, Peg and Jan communicate now, beneath the roaring of LaMthyuh, in a way that's becoming more natural to them: with their minds only. 

Whut do you mean? they make incense with our shit

No, i know, but it's hate, i can feel it ery day

Right, that's why they need us, we make them feel as one

They are as one with hate

They are as one with hate, as one with nature, as one with you and me

I'm not even comfortable with the pronoun they because

Because it lends itself to a crass categorization of peoples?

Mmhm, ok

Phyliss [embedded]

I Got Off Easy

For whatever is left of tomorrow, there's always TIN DAWN. 

TIN DAWN is they say the final demon to watch out for

Look deep into his eyes and you will see many rings

each of which has a meaning

ring of understanding

ring of knowing 

ring of fear

ring of excitement

ring of famine

ring of stupidity

this last ring is the deepest ring

it surrounds the deepest known void

I saw this ring directly and it locked

into the circular patterns of my own 

eyes thoughts behavior 

This was a moment when I could have been captured by

TIN DAWN But instead

i felt my feet begin to levitate off the ground

we shared for a tic the terrible inevitability 

of eternity it was a chance to reach out to him

for my journey was a spiritual one

and i reached out to him 

and i spoke these words to him i said

"culturally you're supposed to have some support mechanism to help get through and mark moments of consequence"

then my feet touched the ground again

his fury temporarily abated he answered 

"but those who've been effed over by culture science mathematics physics geography politics boyfriends we must create our own rituals our own celebrations"

These famous words were known and held dearly to each of our hearts, and had been ever since LaChamatilly originally delivered them in her Cross-Chanks Address. 

Weiba Hinde
Storytelling Booth 7
Storytelling Festival
Days of Destruction

pink stucco wat

pink stucco wat, border of pyracantha

climbing red berries, beacon to the

community, recipient

of odes anthems oaths palm branches

the dead pregnant newly dying 

just born ery kinda party from 

juice in tiny cups to indoor

crepe paper rainbow showers or

praying hands on purple velvet

hands of a man in marbled plastic

praying

ceremonial angel hair of

spun glass which will cut

to a hidden sunken tub

closet with rain ponchos

a tub a place to almost drown

three times three dunks to glory

a place where drunks get horny

when they come to a realization

there is a community a recipient

of love wealth hope remorse

her hair stays afloat on the water

then with it plastered to her shoulders

she stands looks out at the worshipers

all of us married the same guy

all of us also are that guy

fingers on a guy's praying hands

diamonds in the crown of a

poor man humble god-man god

pink stucco wat, a nipple

poor men sucking on poor men's

god, within a steeple

La LaChama
from: Mission of Mthyuh
[trans:] by Phyllis

Try a virtue round

virtue challenge

spend one glorious day being virtuous in the loving arms of virtue

may that your choices be borne of virtue all the virtues

may that any step on this day must not violate any of the virtues

virtues are designated as: 

virtues which are considered to be virtues The Crack-wide (see appendix)

not virtues which you think it would be cute to call virtues

start the day saying these words in this order

i am a virtue i am a virtue muffin mthyuh eat me first or send your demons

i mthyuh i am am a virtue virtue muffin your demons eat me first or send your

send your demons send a virtue mthyuh eat your demons first or am your 

virtue demon me eat your demons first am send me muffins virtue muffins  

[repeat] 

in between your chanting you may find that you're making virtuous choices automatically

this is because by chanting the sacred words you have activated the K5000

the K5000 would never harm you but it does now have access and has now

taken charge of one key portion of your Braino son so

don't stop now and i mean lidderly don't stop now because

[MPS has imperiously and arbitrarily redacted this portion of the activity instructions]

Traditional MPS nuns "friday fun day" activity [frag.]
by Phyliss [trans.]

demon of all loving all giving all knowing

This is one who is like a swarm of locusts in terms of devastation but all-in-one. One you may want to be open to. 

Create an emotional and spiritual boundary between yourself and this one.

Not only is it possible to create this boundary but also possible to create it when that one is already inside of you and as one with you. 

In fact one who needs most to create a boundary is most often one that must create a boundary between oneself and that same one who is more devastating than a stampede of buffalo, yet all-in-one, and at one with one as one. 

The demon of all loving all giving all knowing is likely to take charge in moments of structural weakness when combined with palliative interventions, for example. Although you may not feel entitled to your own opinion during these moments, you must find and stand on your boundary line, and you must be the line, be as one with the line as you are as one with the demon. The demon may respect the line if you do. Imagine a school of piranhas stopping short of crossing a watery line. 

Do not sign contracts hire workers bear gifts offer advice opine on any topic write to anyone for any purpose.  Let them come to you and see for themselves the condition you are in so that they too may draw their own boundaries even as they too are as one with you.

La LaChama
from: 

Primavera Eterna: Obra de Dentro

their laughter can still maim

Peg and Jan Jansdaad are relaxing within the echoey confines of a natural-stone Friends' Hangar going through their ceremonial gifts from pilgrims, some items having taken thousands of fleke workers generations to craft and execute to scale. The ladies are looking pink and feeling loose having just returned from a roll in the sugar beet pulp hills by the refinery. Jan and Peg have the ability to speak with their minds only. However, on this occasion, they are disrespectfully mocking mouth-only speakers as they speak with their mouths only—to the delight of no one but themselves. 

This is my faux fur throw (though somehow its funk flows farther). Its tufts of fine-spun plastic in tight rows are so soft that you might think of lynx or click on chinchilla.

Glory! Its immensity, the size perhaps of a million rodent pelts, has dealt chaos for our weather patterns that can be felt from windy Jansterdam to the wet and sloppy roadside ditch rain up to the knees of the hard singing Chang K. Chang Chank drunk tank chain gang.

You don't have to tell me. I've done my time with a pick and an axe or maybe a sickle. 

You're making me hungry. 

Well haha, my goddess, I am not up in here for eating. That's not on the table. 

We both know that I could eat you at any moment of my choosing.

There are many leaps of faith one takes while investing time in a cross-species relationship.

You splain this? 

I remind myself for comfort. The lines are so faded. Who could blame anyone for stumbling across one of them and forever changing history?

At least for the dead guy. 

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Their powerful, screeching laughter makes use of a naturally selected vocal node that their ancestors had used to best effect as a method for stunning prey. Now Ks express their need to laugh only when they experience humor, usually tasteless or stupid humor. But their laughter can still maim or even kill. 

Phyllis [trans.]

self-reflection 2

 

by Donna

Whacked-out ingenue stomping around the musuem

this is a song i can't say to you without singing

it's an ancient pattern that also works for fishing

men knitting thinking they praying to they wives

wives teats hanging heavy as hoopties with babies

sing another song also not the one i'm singing to you

but there is a child one all alone out there in the cold

he might be standing on a windy bridge singing

i feel alone yet so free out here i don't want to go home

i figure in this scene it seems to make room for me

and every morning walking home the sun is up for me

they must make room for me here and my reasons

they must consider my reasons and my innocence

it must speak back to them about they own trajectories

way they left they keys they left they innocence

this is the outside world all meeting together with me

this is the impression i leave on nature itself

while i find the key to get back on out again

nature sit outside the protection from enemies

yet nature let your natural friends come

if you're young you've got natural mojo and

there are those that come around protect the 

fine young leather bound for treasure bound

together bound in pleasure an more pleasure

an the hard side of town way they knock at

your door for the rent or turn the music down

and you get it that all whores are workers and

all workers are whores and you want to

burn it down, eat it up, burn it down, eat it up

burn it down burn it down burn it down burn it

up and eat it up and be eaten up and eat it up and

burn it up and take it down and take it up and

this is the song i couldn't say to you this is the

story i can't tell you because it never ends

it's a trajectory that carries on the winds of time

it makes a circle and then a swirly and then

a silver line a landing a griddle a very firm bed

a sheet of ice a melting sea of liberty

this is the story the story i am singing to you

by Missy

self-reflection

   

Story of the Unfairness Prong

Reptily is a post-feminist punk chick who spent most of her 30's deliberately topless

until the xeno-anomalous features began kicking in

and it started to confuse the message

soon no clothing was necessary even tho the finest makers would make her clothing

but they didn't want to be insulting 

she soared so proudly, nature unfolding

then after a traumatic event or two they say of her own making

she set the Chanklands quaking

burst the babies' ear drums with her laughing

they took her and tried to fold her in as they had when she was tiny Missy

she had a lounge act and did time 

on a cruise ship for shiny coins

the onlybody knew reptily powers were her mom: Mkidza Mlaf

they started they shiv joint in a storefront on a 

dead Sears parking triangle

that was when the K5000 arrived it looked like LaPegyuh in disguise

she was a towering flesh-hung flier stomper everything 

with a tortured face

but she was not LaPegyuh it was her meat under remote muscle positioning (RMP)

there is a scientific arm the sacred arm of the MPS

they were corrupted by Jans

they wanted a restart to finally do the Extinction Takeback Agreement (ETA)

so fine great but Jans made them into

slaves toys soldiers enemies wild

they had already been folded into lavajraja from the earliest days they are

mythical creatures and pests like tigers

they are the mouths of laMthyuh

they are the swooping answer to prayer take me into truth beauty most holy mouth

Eat me first eat me now i am ready lalala

nothing happens unless you don't expect it

from: Story of the Unfairness Prong
Minutes: Destruction Review Days
Phyliss (embedded)
Sports n' Sex Crimes Bugle

voiceless breath

now going for the open-throated voiceless breath

gruntless air unimpeded by the song of complaint

revolt resistance alarm remark must only be shaped

by the upper locks and low-girding pistons 

this is how to fan a flame not pinch it out 

the breath not the beat must create the rhythm 

not where any convention spells death as in poetry 

when breathing is beaten and choked to pulpy bits

air flows best in the channels invisible of reference

no tune of childhood jack in box will abduct 

my forward-aiming whisper-only bellows

or the smoke on my billowing clear tendrils

our gut flora soaring for their measly lives

or this desultory yet shameless carbon-dioxide

no raga no jig nor carol can jam the engine

non-metaphoric breath itself must come first

before the florid code or plea for recognition

the slide and squeal of wet tendons in contact 

could be no more than nothing without air

which as breath shall be my fulcrum and lever

by Peg

Fervent

None of us can think of a way to take out the K-5000 without Jan barleycorn. It will be a multigenerational battle. A tragically high percentage of us will die violently, go crazy, and/or end up in the cement mines, all from the alcohol alone. 

There will not be many deaths in battle, and unfortunately, not much disfigurement either. The MPS knows that anybody can get rich on a relic tour with an interesting configuration of missing mangled scarred (MMS) body parts. 

So we'll take our casualties how we find them, get them self-inflict them, and we'll use any fuel, toxic or not, that will keep the movement fervent. We'll seek out Pharmsupply that makes us fight beyond our natural inclination to submit and get by.

by Jan
from: Early Recruit
by Jan Jansdaad, Jr.

Documents captured from Choose Your Death (CYD) program

Notification to MOD applicant:

You have elected a manner of death (MOD) that has reached its participant cap for your district. Please select a new MOD from this list of currently available MODs:

• cancer: debilitating, non-disfiguring, term of 5 (five) years*
• heart failure: term of = / > 3 (three) years, + mandatory surgical interventions TBD*
• heart failure: fancy vittles parlor, term of 7–15 minutes*
• sorrow, regret: term of = / > 10 (ten) years
• industrial machinery-related: term of 3–6 days, disfiguring*
• public deadheading: immediate, tiny shopping plaza, basic staging, disfiguring, payout goes to MPS Charities*
• public deadheading: immediate, mid-sized stadium, open for subsequent event, disfiguring, no payout
• pre-birth termination: This is obviously not an available election for you unless you are still within a womb or bun oven. Throughout history, and barring the random prank or stunt, MPS has never received a single legitimate application or inquiry about PBT from any eligible party Crack-wide. For this reason, it has been categorized as the least desirable MOD and therefore, pre-indemnified for the highest payout, TBD, based off wind flux. Full menu of palliatives, legal and media representation, [touch box] [] immediate [] slow [] i'm feeling lucky

If you have not selected a manner of death from the list above by the rising of the [ ] moons, a MOD will be assigned by MPS on your behalf. 

*palliative substances are disapproved for this election

----------

Sarco Peña, Jr.: They gets a reprint and is all the better for it

Previously removed and reprocessed by MPH from: Junky Tundra

The potion was starting to affect his pronouns. Then they saw the reason for the trip. Nature himself became creepy, like a poem by Issa Tambda-Eites. It would take a chank-wide effort to find what we were cruising for. Where wuz Joe Vodrz when I needed they? I'd never considered the wear-down vs. build-up paradox in terms of the mind, but the flesh myself was locked into a technological journey, so much so that you mistook us for a keypunch machine. I understand the categorization of creatures by how much they deserves to exist on the planetary surface, but if you land on just about any single point of these your lands, this won't be anything to see, as far as the eye can see. 

There's also been a breakdown or a breach of the (BWHS): breathing walking humming system. Each has become so symbiotically entrenched that none can function without both others. All three are categorized as implausible at that time. How did I reach these point? In the 70's men's asses were shitty. In the 80's they seemed to have become dilated. In the 90's they smelled of latex. By the aughts, they'd taken on a set form and dimension matching whichever whomever she were hosting on the regular. In terms of A-holes, and throughout our history, the most personally inconsequential members of your society were, by default genetic chance manner, in control of itself most precious resource: breath of laMthyuh. These few irreprehensible flekes among their caste are renowned Crack-wide for the sweet-grassy tamber of he privileged farts. 

Sarco Peña Jr. 
Ayre Fromme-Diaz [trans.]

the more i sought oblivion

the more i sought oblivion

the closer i stepped 

toward actual oblivion

more quickly that i seeped

through cracks cum rivers

enthralled in weightlessness

on a channel of quiet souls

who're going the same way

the means match the reward

the choices that i made

or opposites thereof

arrive at the same outcome

my smile is forced

but not by me

a skull has no lips to close

by Jan

Table 5
Poetry Festival
Days of Destruction

Sponsored by: The Takeitoutists

Please contact my avatar

For this purpose, please contact my avatar. 

I'm already stepping into uncomfortable territory. 

She used to do the grunt work only. Not anymore.

Contact my avatar for:

Collections, deliveries, bad news

Don't leave without your 

emoji

How do you think we've stamped out war?

My hooptie became a car on TV the day

You know what day. 

See her not me for appropriate conversation

Tell her what time it is but please ask me

For filling in bullets or text boxes

She can process billions of detoxes

painlessly. 

Her secret i believe involves numeration

while i'm more ABC. Submit your evaluations

to my avatar. 

What if the only way you could have me

directly would be 

in your arms?

by Donna

alienated from nature, betrayed by natural law

 

"Once, I was strange; now, the world is strange." 

This time, Missy had not wandered in absent-minded reflection to end up at the cement railing around the back gardens overlooking the sea and the sunsets. She had deliberately sought it out. However, she did not form this plan into language, even in her mind only, because she knew that he was, in many ways, all-knowing.

"Talking to yourself again?" answered Mike, not-coincidentally happening to be coming back again, back up the path from the sparkling meditation pool, wet and naked. 

"Of course not." Missy could shoot back with earnest pique. 

"Oh, I didn't mean to..."

"I speak to Mthyuh, of course, and the Hearing Deities, to my blood soaring high above, and to all the listeners and those who listen in The Known Crack and beyond.

"Lavajraja."

"Vajraja."

Wehma Innuhneh

Junky Tundra

[The contents of this post have been abruptly and censoriously removed by the MPS.]

Sarco Peña, Jr. 
Ayre Fromme-Diaz [trans.]

Splendor at day's end

For some reason, Missy paused and looked back on her day. She just happened to be leaning on the masonry fence of a terrace overlooking the sea, the sky, and the sunsets. Bathed in yellow, green and purple, shiny gold bangles weighing as much as hoopties in her ears, Missy thought, "I've pretty much spent my waking hours doing things others might find offensive, jarring, inexplicable, conniving, selfish, hostile, boorish, or the most unforgivable of all: impolite.

"But I want to acknowledge now, to myself and to la Mthyuh, that the choices I've made were bad, but not mistaken. My actions are mine and they are deliberate, not inadvertent, careless, reactive, manic, depressive, involuntary, sleep walking or flying, not prompted by hunger, thirst, lust, or...

"Wait. Yes, today, my actions were prompted by hunger, thirst, lust, mean spiritedness, irritability, and also a strong sense of justice along with the attitude, however realistic, that I've nothing to lose."

"More like no one." It was Mike, coming up the path from the pool. He grabbed a length of passionflower vine from the wall of the estate to wrap around his naked waist because he was a good and honorable man.

"I didn't know—I..." pantomimed Missy, freshly manicured, in a startle pose.

"I have enough K blood in me to speak with my mind only," explained Mike with his mind only. 

"There's a really lot that you've got, isn't there?" Missy let herself blurt out.

Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles and Blessings

Beginning today and throughout the entire cycle of moons 

Care for your medical emergencies will be administered as follows:

Humilderies (non-wound related, unless surgical, viral or bacterial infections, all mental health gripes, transplants, mysteries): Report to your district's clinic-cantina or the centre indicated on your W.A.S.T.E. papers. We have regular drugs as well as a full complement of palliative applications and potions to help get you through this humiliating loss of control over your own health and back to living and working responsibly. 

Miracles & blessings: Please report to Central Shiv Joint, MPS Village. We'll do our best to process your miracle or blessing with the respect and reverence for which you've been chosen. Our services can include (in return for registering your miracle or blessing with MPS Ministries): scar preservation and wound color retention, healing-in-place procedures to help you retain and leverage all received limb and/or spine morphoses permanently and in accordance with lavajraja (say "vajraja" here), prosthetic K5000 signals that can also help you retain mobility, retrieval (if granted by predator) and pickling of lost body fragments through certified MPS processes and authority, and discounts at any MPS pilgrim's hut or hunter's burrow, as available, for all future miracles and blessings alms tours you may find yourself up to embarking upon for a holy and prosperous career toward La Mthyuh. If you are blessed with any future events such as a targeted beach dump or punishing splash at Fire Shore, we will provide all required apostilles and transmittals free of additional charge.

Evolving Ministry Notification [frag.]
"Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles, and Blessings"
MPS
Phyllis [trans.]

likely emergency

i woke up in a kung-fu movie

a generous bloke next to me

a jar of valium for free

non-stop kicking on the 

screen, etc.

my own knee could barely

fit between my ass and the

seat back in front of me

and my high-ass wood-

block heels, and so on

because it was my city 

and as a child there were these

shields around me, e.g.

being on a ledge that was privy

as in likely emergency

by Reptily

connection

But unlike you, I have lived a life of near total secularity. I'm not afraid of the K5000. 

Not even as it tracks and adjusts the movements of your limbs and spine?

Those are behaviors I'd never elect to manage even if I had the choice. Braino is vastly more powerful wherever the K5000 can underwrite some of the grunt work. 

Know and name thine enemy, dear friend. Even if you'll have nothing to do with lavajraja.

Vajraja.

I know that you can say it and that you feel good saying and having said it lavajraja.

Vajraja.

Ok I better sign off. You caught me at a very late point in my life this time. Talk to your minister of technology, but I'd scope it for early to mid adulthood. They're burying me tomorrow, man. 

Oh, so sorry. For your loss?

No, you're sorry about interrupting me when I'm trying to die.

Ok. I do feel bad about that. Damn connection. Next week we'll find a much spiffier moment for the both of us. 

Take care, Jan. 

You as well, Dr. Thong. 

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

[create image] In the steaming rubble of his family's vittles emporium, on [change to] a heap of steaming rubble rising above a small crowd of dazed and angry flekes, Jan Jansdaad stands [create image] balancing himself on bare feet at the top of the heap. [create moving image] He raises an arm in a classic rhetorical manner, and a bandage unfurls from his wrist: the symbol we know of today as [create image] our flag, a single white ribbon with an embroidered scarlet J.

[Add dialog Clip #] As I stand here on this steaming heap of rubble, all that's left of my family's vittles emporium, all that's left, perhaps, of some members of my family, I wonder how a man can speak still and bear the weight of this horror!

Indeed I wonder how a man can speak and why, apart from doggedly following ancient traditions, we must also submit to the murdering beasts that darken these skies! But I do not require light to see the MPS's treachery! 

Why indeed do we have the gift of speech, unlike those dead just yards below my feet? May we speak so as not to kill or kill when they do not hear us speak! [create image: Jansdaad's fists clenching his bloody tunic]

[Add dialog Clip #] Jan Jansdaad, what can we do now. What is our response? [create image: turban-headed figure in crowd holding both arms high in the air]

[Add dialog Clip #] I chuck my dead into La Mthyuh. I beg that she eat me next. And next, all of you. And then we must destroy the K-5000! [create image: crowd of dusty and injured Jantownsmen shaking fists and shouting or falling to their knees and tearing at their hair; BKGRD: skies obscured by three colossal Ks drizzling rain-like urine] Destroy the K-5000! Destroy the K-5000!

Phyllis [trans.]
from: Practice File 3
MPS Special Seminar:

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

Phyllis [trans.]: Reporter (embedded), Sports n' Sex Crimes Bugle

Author/Talk Therapist/Exploratory Surgeon: Dr. Donna Thong

 

The anomalous deities: SHAB

 

The anomalous deities: MONSTER POINSETTIA

 

The anomalous deities: MISSY

 

The anomalous deities: THE BEGGING RAJA

 

The anomalous deities: MIKE

 

The anomalous deities: LA PEGYUH-UH

 

The anomalous deities: ILYN

 

The anomalous deities: REPTILY-ILY

 

The anomalous deities: LA CHAMATILLY-ILY

 

The anomalous deities: JAN JANSDAAD

 

Pilgrims

 

Flekes

 

Jans

 

We live in a diverse society

 

Primary Anomalous Geogenetic & Sociopolitical Expressions on Our Surface: Classifications and Permutations Driving Xenotype and Culture Now

Remove the word should from your complaint

Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i should pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino. 

Pilgrim 2: ...

Pilgrim 1: How about you?

Pilgrim 2: When i pray to either lachama or Braino or try and reason with either Braino or lachama, after a while, it has become a hypomania, or i enter a fugue state, but not voluntarily.

Pilgrim 1: Is it uncomfortable for you?

Pilgrim 2: What? No.

Pilgrim 1: ...

Pilgrim 2: How about you. You sound confused. 

Pilgrim 1: Ya. Not feeling it at all.

Pilgrim 2: Well lavajraja is not a feeling tho. It is a dharma lavajraja la vajra of lachama. 

Pilgrim 1: Vajraja.

Pilgrim 2: Remove the word should from your complaint.

Pilgrim 1: Huh

Pilgrim 2: Do it

Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino.

Pilgrim 2: You're good to go now

What is the K5000?

This is what we've found while working with the Jans. The moment they become conscious of themselves as autonomous beings in a shared environment is the same moment that they begin to express symptoms of deep-set mental illnesses, personality disorders, what have you—and with aggravations. It just becomes worse when and if they learn that their existence in The Crack is finite. We've had some of our best successes with the ones who've never thought to ask. 

Now watch some frags of Jans early in their work mods mouthing off to assigned peers:

Jan: Why am I doing this, anyway? It's stupid. 

Jan: That's darling: you deadhead marigolds like you've found the key to happiness. 

Jan: Have you ever wondered what you're supposed to do when you leave here?

Jan: The shadows are crossing in the middle now. Before my rest period, they were far apart. 

Jan: I want to touch you. 

Jan: You know what? I believe that Jan and I are really not the same at all. 

Jan: They still want us to do this, but we still don't want to do it. 

Jan: If it were up to me, I would do this more slowly. 

Jan: Sometimes when I'm fulfilling my duties and earning praise, I hate myself and others. 

Jan: Why do they keep reminding us of choices everything is about choices? 

Jan: Seems like the team's on board with personal hygiene but how about overall aesthetics?

Jan: Why do I have the ability to speak aloud?

Jan: Do we work here because we made bad choices?

Jan: Our avatars are really going at it. What do we do in the meantime?

Jan: They say that if it weren't for us, there would be too few natural hominids to develop into a society. I don't believe it. 

Jan: They say the K5000 allows us to access parts of our brains not damaged by trauma. But what was the trauma? Was it the K5000? 

Jan: What is the K5000? 

Jan: What if the K5000 went away? 

 

from: Pathologies abound in trafficked and native Jans in the work space: How we got here

[Presentation]
Dr. Donna Thong
Institute for the Journal of Metacognitive Talk-Therapy Apologists