i donno whus tsay [the Mp3]

donno

This desmadre has been removed by the Mthyuh Preservation Society.

Take it Like the Host

You are on a plan, and you have services.
You can take advantage of the rewards.
You can double-upgrade your premiums
If you will take up this sword and cut this

cabrito.

I have signed up for your plan
and taken the 15 questions an-
swers of which are guaranteed
not to be shared around or sold,

cabron.

i donno whus tsay

choose any day and you could
say that yor whole lives ruined

duznt maddr how good or bad
it's been its gone its done fin-

ished its natural day to day. so
live today, bitch, like u bin sni-

fin glue for a few months and
you just stopped into pay yr

gas n lectric at the Easy-Way
soda infa-stretcher can livonne

Mike's Swimming Blog, Day 16: It Evens Out

When it's very late trying not to
disturb the neighbors much, and
when it's more than 110 degrees
one tends to just stand in the
water. Algae can take hold and
the robot slides down the sides;
Hoolie, life must get our reac-
tion. Life must not persist in
these salted waters. Life is bar-
red except for one main life.

But when it was hoary tonight
I had the reaction; it seemed
to feel at home in the suspend-
ed life-bloated filth and teem-
ing nutrients, bursting possib-
ilities for sustainability of an
eco-system. My abdomen
grows green and purple scales
like a beautiful crustacean. It
propels me like a strong fish.

Mike's Swimming Blog, Day 12:

Swimming is a battle for life, first of all. You fight to maintain a vital corporal function. You are swimming literally on a line between life and death, especially if you don't swim really well and try to do ballet and modern in the water and think it will automatically make you float.

Thinking about trying it during an outbreak.

Mike's Swimming Blog, Day 11: Aquagesturals

If you make movements that are not normally thought to be water movements, you can go as fast or faster than you can with regular water movements, and with a priusload of energy savings, chile.

For example, dog movements way beyond the dog paddle can propel a human through liquid whereas with a canine it could fail. If you make a movement as if you are wagging your tail in still pool water, you will propel.

If you are on your back and act like a young pussycat theater stud and sort of pump the surface tension, you will propel, and quickly. This tongue-like motion allows you to "lap" with all the same goodie health points as a linear lap, except for that everyone else is hermaphroditic in comparison to your bonus "green" aquagesturals.

skull

She died with her
face in a furrow
in an orgasm of
labor. The sun
cooked her pher-
emones in her
blood, solar en-
ergy, here, not
serving grand pur-
poses. This year,
however, it was
the only direct
human result.

Work, Work

When we were trying to
work it out, we were really
working and trying hard
to work it out. I rem-
ember working so hard
and trying to work it har-
der and harder every day
working and trying it this
way and that way and try-
ing anything to make it
work out, and it worked
out, we worked out, and we
really worked it by working
on it hard and trying on it
really hard until we could-
n't work it out and had to
work it, work it some more
until we just had to sur-
render and say I give up,
I been working on it, wor-
king really hard and you
can go now; I quit and sur-
ender up my work to you.

Good Feeling (right with the...)

Hmm... I had a few lines I was going to
share with the entire world. Let's see,

"I never realized, baby:
it was you all along;
[dropping to a whisper:]
you were meant for me."

Now you are coming
and I already feel as one;
the temperature
has risen past its per-
mittable boundaries to
be any reasonable kind
of love chile. Lover,
I want you here by my
side by the time by your
fine aspect and person-
ality woman.

Kali Herbal Foot Soak

Chamatily meets Pegyuh

They are like the divas of the shattered and mutated world of Pariah. They are virgin and whore, whore and virgin, whorgin, vore, vore-whorgin, and whorgin-vore.

Chamatily could be a hundred years or more older than the Pegyuh. But Peggyists might say that Pegyuh is the superior being because she developed into the fullfillment of a prophecy rather than something that caught on in a flash and rode a wave of popularity straight into a life of crippling bindings and harsh ceremonial confinement. She knew it would be better than jail or coach.

Pegyuh explained to the Tilly,

"Being raised up in a temple, you learn there are basically two kinds of people. One kind is a holy but poor kind, needing your help. And the other kind is you."

"Or rather, you," Chama gently corrected.

"Yes, me," confirmed Peggy, smiling like a cosmetologist.

"I was taught that I had and I was something, someone very special because I had something very special, and I had something very special to give. Therefore, when I went out with my specialness and people found it, found me special, I thought it should be because of something special inside me, the special part of my being that is at my center. Instead, what they found was special about me most, the specialness that meant most to them was my tits."

"I am always topless, and my public accepts me so."

"Pardon me, but isn't that because women of dark African descent always appear to be dressed, even as they are nude?"

"Darling, no. That's not it. We are so often naked, yet we are so seldom shocking or obscene."

"You are a beautiful woman and a very special individual."

"you are the mother of all races. your milk is the milk of mthyuh and feeds all our faces. all the maidens and all the virgins milk and suckle on your multiple nipples, giving rise to all peoples. your spout of all..."

"Pardon me once more, Reptily," cautioned Peg, feather light.

"Eat me now Mthyuh, for I have disappointed your milk daughter, milk of her... Oh! You call me my born name from da first WD."

"I have and have always had, always forever will have only two nipples. You need to get that right."

"No, mama. You need to catch a hint from one who has jacked the train of public approval and rode it on in to the temple true da back dough. Now I'm all up in here witchu, and I need to say, 'You really otter be necket.' No one will question you then. No one gets in the pantheon without da bust."

"But I guess you must know. I am a lesbian."

"And I'm really a guy! Does it matter now? For the group photo we'll be facing one another and turning just our heads toward the shivhole, so it'll be your left one and my right, or vice- versa, whichever one is better on each of us-- hopefully they'll oppose."

You Torture Language

You torture language. You
make words go in wrong and
feel bad coming out; this
is your belief, your taun-
ting relentless insane
method.

You think what we speak is
not good enough but should
be cattle shocked into
non-compliance with it-
self, what?

This is your tongue you spank
with po-folk provoked blips
in syntax, blaming those
innocent on your plain
pleasure.

And when we're together,
why you dogging me? As
if we'd never done no-
thing that didn't involve
a single word between
us, chile.

MARBLED RENT

They say I have to get off my thighs and
back to doing mortal things if I want my
present body to last into the next mil-
enium, continued Pegyuh. But that ex-
ercise for its own sake just doesn't last,
can we finally be real? There must be
deep biological reasons for our movements,
because there are serious physical risks
to dry humping life on a treadmill.

So I try to do things around at the
palace. I take the square, multi-colored
satin pillows with a satin button of the
same color in the middle off of one
airport-scale chesterfield chaise, beat
them rigorously, and return them to
some alternate window seat, breakfast
nook or bear rug in another always
just-breaking view of the property.
The nice thing about the residential
buildings is the stone-heated floors.
Before, crumbs would mar my counter-
top. No one had been friend enough to
just pulled me aside and said, "appliance
garage." To say the least, my kitchen n-
ow appears to be a granite tomb.

Last Radioed Transmission

"Pippi! LaLa! M'Lady! Come!

These dogs and this wind is enough-- and then blowing along in it we have the ravages of the soil taken to air to scold us and our faces. Farmers sell water, and the cement goes dry. Babies breathe like miners. The lotion just makes a sludge on your skin. The water leaves a paste. The dogs are having seizures in here. Where is the Western Union? Navy Air? What? Wait... No!"

Eaters Feeding

It was always nice to be pretty, yes, but a man might be like, "Yes, okay, you are fine, love-- but I am getting what I really need right here from this business,' pointing at your anatomy. 'Now do you mind? I'm kind of busy here.' Like that. Then I'd just be... [look up in air while thrusting pelvis]. Never would take my boots off though.

map 1.9  2008/06/03 22:54:33 38.836N 122.809W  2.4    4 km ( 3 mi) N   of The Geysers, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 22:49:48 33.038N 115.558W 14.2    6 km ( 4 mi) E   of Westmorland, CA
map 0.9  2008/06/03 22:43:01 38.815N 122.808W  3.5    2 km ( 1 mi) N   of The Geysers, CA
map 1.5  2008/06/03 21:46:23 37.738N 117.811W  0.0   31 km (19 mi) SW  of Weepah, NV
map 2.2  2008/06/03 21:30:19 33.015N 115.558W 11.7    5 km ( 3 mi) NNW of Brawley, CA
map 2.2  2008/06/03 20:46:37 36.273N 120.252W  3.6   16 km (10 mi) WNW of Huron, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 20:37:27 32.677N 115.957W  8.1    8 km ( 5 mi) SSE of Ocotillo, CA
map 2.0  2008/06/03 20:22:54 36.244N 120.360W 10.8   11 km ( 7 mi) N   of Coalinga, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 20:22:04 38.791N 122.771W  4.3    3 km ( 2 mi) ESE of The Geysers, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 20:00:43 39.550N 119.939W  4.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.6  2008/06/03 19:52:34 32.679N 115.974W  4.9    7 km ( 4 mi) SSE of Ocotillo, CA
MAP 3.9  2008/06/03 19:29:04 38.243N 122.181W 10.8    2 km ( 1 mi) SW  of Green Valley, CA
map 0.9  2008/06/03 19:25:21 38.819N 122.798W  4.3    2 km ( 2 mi) NNE of The Geysers, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 19:05:18 39.550N 119.939W  4.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.6  2008/06/03 18:58:35 41.244N 114.831W  8.0   19 km (12 mi) NE  of Wells, NV
map 1.6  2008/06/03 18:51:11 39.550N 119.939W  4.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.1  2008/06/03 18:45:35 39.550N 119.939W  4.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.4  2008/06/03 18:26:21 32.763N 115.563W 12.9    3 km ( 2 mi) S   of El Centro, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 18:12:07 33.640N 117.919W  7.5    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of Costa Mesa, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 17:58:16 33.889N 116.065W  8.7   24 km (15 mi) NE  of Indio, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 17:45:07 34.220N 117.130W  0.1    2 km ( 2 mi) NW  of Running Springs, CA
map 2.4  2008/06/03 17:40:20 35.842N 120.385W  4.4    8 km ( 5 mi) SSE of Parkfield, CA
map 1.1  2008/06/03 17:28:41 33.708N 116.727W 21.6    4 km ( 3 mi) SSW of Idyllwild, CA
map 1.2  2008/06/03 17:18:08 38.777N 122.718W  1.8    2 km ( 1 mi) W   of Anderson Springs, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 17:06:03 33.046N 115.560W 18.4    6 km ( 4 mi) E   of Westmorland, CA
map 1.8  2008/06/03 16:53:09 33.022N 115.546W 12.6    5 km ( 3 mi) N   of Brawley, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 16:41:16 39.550N 119.939W  4.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.6  2008/06/03 16:25:24 33.374N 117.588W  0.1    8 km ( 5 mi) SSE of San Clemente, CA
map 1.2  2008/06/03 16:13:01 33.691N 116.724W 19.9    6 km ( 4 mi) S   of Idyllwild, CA
map 1.0  2008/06/03 16:09:33 33.598N 116.668W 19.5    5 km ( 3 mi) N   of Anza, CA
map 1.8  2008/06/03 16:08:41 33.109N 117.836W  6.6   42 km (26 mi) SSW of San Clemente, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 16:08:00 34.333N 116.773W  5.8   10 km ( 6 mi) NE  of Big Bear City, CA
MAP 3.1  2008/06/03 16:06:32 33.668N 116.724W 14.7    9 km ( 5 mi) S   of Idyllwild, CA
map 1.1  2008/06/03 16:00:49 33.683N 116.719W 15.1    7 km ( 4 mi) S   of Idyllwild, CA
map 2.4  2008/06/03 15:59:48 35.702N 121.048W  6.7   14 km ( 9 mi) ENE of San Simeon, CA
map 0.8  2008/06/03 15:55:04 39.550N 119.939W  0.0    4 km ( 3 mi) NNE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.5  2008/06/03 15:54:43 33.025N 115.547W 20.8    5 km ( 3 mi) N   of Brawley, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 13:53:18 33.043N 115.562W 15.9    6 km ( 3 mi) E   of Westmorland, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 13:50:06 39.569N 119.965W  2.0    6 km ( 4 mi) N   of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.1  2008/06/03 13:49:00 38.826N 122.810W  2.1    3 km ( 2 mi) N   of The Geysers, CA
map 1.9  2008/06/03 13:39:30 33.795N 117.836W 13.7    1 km ( 1 mi) SSW of Orange, CA
map 0.6  2008/06/03 13:34:32 38.746N 122.900W  4.0   10 km ( 6 mi) SW  of The Geysers, CA
map 1.4  2008/06/03 13:12:46 33.021N 116.259W  8.7   18 km (11 mi) SW  of Ocotillo Wells, CA
map 2.5  2008/06/03 12:55:49 37.413N 121.763W  6.7    7 km ( 5 mi) NE  of Alum Rock, CA
map 2.6  2008/06/03 12:45:38 33.029N 117.368W 15.0    9 km ( 6 mi) W   of Encinitas, CA
map 0.7  2008/06/03 12:38:38 38.768N 122.770W 16.4    5 km ( 3 mi) SE  of The Geysers, CA
map 2.1  2008/06/03 12:11:20 38.825N 122.802W  2.9    3 km ( 2 mi) N   of The Geysers, CA
map 2.6  2008/06/03 12:01:21 37.353N 119.781W 19.7   12 km ( 7 mi) WNW of Oakhurst, CA
map 0.8  2008/06/03 11:13:20 38.820N 122.814W  3.1    2 km ( 2 mi) NNW of The Geysers, CA
map 1.9  2008/06/03 10:59:03 32.452N 116.417W  9.0   24 km (15 mi) ESE of Tecate, Baja California, Mexico
map 1.5  2008/06/03 10:56:16 33.375N 116.432W 27.2   15 km (10 mi) NNW of Borrego Springs, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 10:22:34 37.538N 118.864W  6.8   15 km ( 9 mi) SE  of Mammoth Lakes, CA
map 1.8  2008/06/03 10:10:35 32.977N 115.630W 14.0    7 km ( 4 mi) S   of Westmorland, CA
map 0.6  2008/06/03 10:09:29 38.839N 122.832W  2.3    5 km ( 3 mi) NNW of The Geysers, CA
map 1.0  2008/06/03 09:07:41 33.718N 116.672W 13.5    5 km ( 3 mi) SE  of Idyllwild, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 09:01:31 33.020N 115.568W 12.7    5 km ( 3 mi) ESE of Westmorland, CA
map 2.3  2008/06/03 08:56:27 32.752N 115.576W 13.0    4 km ( 3 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.0  2008/06/03 08:56:04 38.914N 122.888W  0.1    8 km ( 5 mi) SW  of Kelseyville, CA
map 2.2  2008/06/03 08:47:47 33.030N 115.555W 13.0    6 km ( 4 mi) NNW of Brawley, CA
map 2.8  2008/06/03 08:41:32 32.763N 115.572W 11.5    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.9  2008/06/03 08:40:19 38.752N 122.731W  1.5    4 km ( 3 mi) SW  of Anderson Springs, CA
map 2.8  2008/06/03 08:33:46 32.763N 115.574W  2.9    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 2.8  2008/06/03 08:16:40 33.043N 115.569W 14.5    5 km ( 3 mi) E   of Westmorland, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 08:12:57 34.308N 116.969W  6.1    9 km ( 6 mi) NW  of town of Big Bear Lake, CA
map 2.0  2008/06/03 07:59:54 34.855N 116.389W 10.1   26 km (16 mi) NW  of Ludlow, CA
map 1.1  2008/06/03 07:18:11 33.657N 116.716W 17.0   10 km ( 6 mi) S   of Idyllwild, CA
map 1.1  2008/06/03 06:54:21 39.530N 119.912W  0.0    4 km ( 3 mi) ENE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 0.9  2008/06/03 06:47:04 38.825N 122.791W  7.9    3 km ( 2 mi) NNE of The Geysers, CA
map 1.0  2008/06/03 06:40:44 34.060N 117.873W 10.4    4 km ( 2 mi) S   of Covina, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 06:38:36 32.763N 115.575W 15.0    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.6  2008/06/03 06:24:43 32.758N 115.568W 14.8    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 0.3  2008/06/03 06:22:19 33.028N 115.549W  5.8    6 km ( 4 mi) NNW of Brawley, CA
map 1.5  2008/06/03 06:21:54 32.761N 115.578W 15.0    4 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 06:21:48 32.786N 115.577W 11.2    2 km ( 1 mi) W   of El Centro, CA
map 2.1  2008/06/03 06:14:30 32.789N 115.579W 12.0    2 km ( 1 mi) W   of El Centro, CA
map 2.2  2008/06/03 06:13:23 32.778N 115.580W 14.9    2 km ( 1 mi) WSW of El Centro, CA
MAP 3.0  2008/06/03 05:51:45 32.750N 115.570W 15.4    4 km ( 3 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 2.6  2008/06/03 05:50:04 32.763N 115.570W 11.5    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 05:45:49 32.789N 115.575W 12.5    2 km ( 1 mi) W   of El Centro, CA
map 2.3  2008/06/03 05:42:15 32.767N 115.578W 12.4    3 km ( 2 mi) SW  of El Centro, CA
map 2.5  2008/06/03 05:40:29 32.750N 115.575W 14.8    5 km ( 3 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 2.6  2008/06/03 05:39:19 32.756N 115.573W 13.5    4 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 0.9  2008/06/03 05:32:05 38.832N 122.804W  2.2    4 km ( 2 mi) N   of The Geysers, CA
map 2.1  2008/06/03 05:30:52 37.300N 121.674W  6.2   15 km ( 9 mi) E   of Seven Trees, CA
map 1.5  2008/06/03 05:26:39 33.146N 116.615W 15.0    9 km ( 5 mi) NNW of Julian, CA
map 1.7  2008/06/03 05:23:29 37.423N 118.615W 10.1    2 km ( 1 mi) WNW of Round Valley, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 05:23:27 33.995N 117.197W 15.2    7 km ( 4 mi) SSW of Redlands, CA
map 1.1  2008/06/03 05:16:11 33.501N 116.570W 10.6   11 km ( 7 mi) ESE of Anza, CA
map 2.2  2008/06/03 05:08:34 39.523N 119.922W  1.6    3 km ( 2 mi) ENE of Verdi-Mogul, NV
map 1.8  2008/06/03 05:04:23 32.765N 115.575W 16.4    3 km ( 2 mi) SSW of El Centro, CA
map 1.0  2008/06/03 05:01:19 33.498N 116.474W 16.1   19 km (12 mi) ESE of Anza, CA
map 1.3  2008/06/03 04:56:05 37.314N 121.602W  8.3   21 km (13 mi) ESE of Alum Rock, CA

Swarm of Eaters

Chamatilly, a topless and comely African-American woman, 35, bowed from the waist and allowed the tip of her tongue to dab at the inscribed shivplate wafer sewn into the bottom hem of her skirt. When she stood up, all of her thoughts were gone.

She began to chant:

?u-bri' nitu' uhznao'? u-bri' nitu' uhznao'? u-bri' nitu' uhznao'?

She was practicing for Swarm of Eaters. Nearly her entire left side was covered with a dense forest of SOE scars. She had stepped up to the box, paid her tithe, and submitted to the ravenous creatures in the tiny, decoratively-shaped openings three hundred and eighty-eight times now, voluntarily.

I Want to Feel Giddy and Free

I want to feel giddy and
free, though I am the
Mother of all Races.
What can behold of me
ventriloquistically and
with every emotion
a pantheon of faces?

Over to Kypes'

Kype's mom had just a sec before she had to leave for work, so she grabbed a glossy magazine and an ashtray and sat down on the couch hunched over the coffee table in her Pink Skirt, hose out of shoes and a quilted bra.

[photo]
"I'm jist ginna... git out there an give it... one damn try more..."

Illyn Jones, emerging on crutches from Mthyuh of All Miracles hospital this afternoon. Jones swore he was already on his way back up to deepend the same mosh pit which everyone could have sworn had been his Final Eater now these four days ago.

Miss History Moment
Sponsored by PharmSupply

Peggy had taken on the cause of pimping out models to the American public via the pharmaceutical industry. Top powderpromies could pull down many shiny coins per week. For example they could play a beautiful Drip-Dry Maiden who'd made the Lifestyle Mistake of spreading herpes everywhere, some poor kid who wants to make it all right again by licking for-profit shivplate every day for the rest of her life, which had just recently become endless, at a cost, thanks to PHARM-SUPPLY.

Then a friend hears about her plight. To make her feel better, the friend says, "Heck, I should really be licking this too. That way I'll never have to live YOUR sad life. Why doesn't everyone start to lick Pending? Then no one will ever git H."

"If you don't leck it, you're no bitter than a Sexual Lipper," agrees the friend.

Pending. A man has a girl to watch after him; a girl has to watch out for her man and for herself. Take Pending every day. Because a woman has to watch out for herself. Bottom line baby.

"So you see, Hoolie: if it is discovered ignorantly, it is discovered truly. If it is an imitation of life, you sermonize. Imitation of Christ, you politicize. If it is discovered falsely, you are not making music. You are playing the guitar."

Hoolie dreamed he was over at Kype's mom's who was always on her way to work, putting on makeup.

She had Pale German skin and her hairs all wisped up. All thems at Kype's smoked. A lot. All pale with Pall Malls and pink lips, pink tablecloths; everything there seemed organic, Pink, and Fleshy. And it seemed to be necessary for everyone to drain the soft white tobacco tubes to keep it going.

Hoolie got drunk over there for the first time and made a joke of standing up his lit cigarette in the Middle of a Pizza they'd been eating like a birthday candle. Everyone just laughed and looked at Hoolie lovingly, even though it was so stupid he did that. Also, they could have been mad that they'd paid the pizza, and a large family at that with so many mouths sucking.

Then they went out and jammed in the garage. Their eyes seemed to roll back in their heads, Kype's brothers when they stroked. Chords filled the room everywhere, free of drums. All three boys in that family had classic GTO's with fresh paint and clean original leather.

Hoolie dreamed he was sitting at Kype's alone at the kitchen table and a Pink Worm started growing out his adam's apple like a fleshy condom swelling. When Hoolie woke up, he was under a fuzzy thermal blanket in a bed over to Kype's. He was finding it a little hard to breathe, however, because there was a fat pink worm feeding at his throat.

Public Oracle Dispenser

Ted's elbows and knuckles ached, as if he had been walking on them all day. It might be more comfortable than his current evolutionary and work-related debt to holding up the lower back as a pain-prevention measure. At times Ted felt as though the regrets of an entire species rested on his own four shoulders. Here he was on his ass on a stone because all of the things he now loved now had access to now defaulted through comfort, distraction, obsession, path of least resistance to being seated on this stone before a pod (public oracle dispenser). Night and day. No difference.

Ted wanted to be out on the trail with the pups hunting bear or tagging rocks and chank faces with Isohere. They could camp out and wake to a dizzying cliffside spectacle of Pink Morning Sky, but Vertical. Strong, soaring, wide-winged blue-green and purple, long-beaked, scary birds looked like they were armored in Metallic Feathers. Had become common now. See them gliding by, upside-down on their own private airstream jetty.

Destruction of Wealth

Once every hundred years there was a festival called Destruction of Wealth where all the rich would have to come and stand outside their caves and all the surrounding peasants and pissants would get to walk right past their stuck-up cousins, loot their houses, and spit at them on their way out.

The spitting became more and more polite over the centuries as the rich cousins devised more and better ways to reap vengeance on the poor cousins during all the other 99 years if they looted too much or spat too bitterly.

Eventually, Destruction of Wealth became a national Centennial of Charity. The rich cousins would lock up their garages and daughters and best animals and put out big bowls of punch and large plates of graham crackers for the poor cousins, who wore their very best clothes to the event, clothes they had to borrow money from the rich cousins in one town to purchase at the stores of other rich cousins in another town.

The poor cousins entered the homes of the rich cousins, most of whom had made a point to be abroad, leaving mildly attentive servants and security personnel in their places. The poor cousins ate as much as they could and went home quietly, wondering how their families would survive, void of all charity, across decade after promiseless decade ahead.

Then it was suggested that reparations be paid. There would be a fund set up to honor the sacrifices of the rich cousins during all previous Destructions of Wealth. Prayer and self-floggings were to be general across the land. Some poor cousins went hungry for generations as a result of the compulsory tithing.

Finally, the poor cousins snapped. They rushed the guards at all the grand caverns of their wealthy but distant relatives. They looted their cement and pharmaceuticals, forcefully kissed their daughters. When they had eaten all the delicacies and drunk all the finest beverages their stomachs could hold and filled their arms and their pockets and their asses with all the valuables they could carry, they left, spitting upon the rich cousins, who could only stoop cowering at their own doorsteps.

As the poor cousins made their way back home to their blighted villages, laden no longer with care but rather with new found wealth and happiness, they felt forgiving, a little contrite, and could only imagine a brighter tomorrow for all the family.