Documents captured from Choose Your Death (CYD) program

Notification to MOD applicant:

You have elected a manner of death (MOD) that has reached its participant cap for your district. Please select a new MOD from this list of currently available MODs:

• cancer: debilitating, non-disfiguring, term of 5 (five) years*
• heart failure: term of = / > 3 (three) years, + mandatory surgical interventions TBD*
• heart failure: fancy vittles parlor, term of 7–15 minutes*
• sorrow, regret: term of = / > 10 (ten) years
• industrial machinery-related: term of 3–6 days, disfiguring*
• public deadheading: immediate, tiny shopping plaza, basic staging, disfiguring, payout goes to MPS Charities*
• public deadheading: immediate, mid-sized stadium, open for subsequent event, disfiguring, no payout
• pre-birth termination: This is obviously not an available election for you unless you are still within a womb or bun oven. Throughout history, and barring the random prank or stunt, MPS has never received a single legitimate application or inquiry about PBT from any eligible party Crack-wide. For this reason, it has been categorized as the least desirable MOD and therefore, pre-indemnified for the highest payout, TBD, based off wind flux. Full menu of palliatives, legal and media representation, [touch box] [] immediate [] slow [] i'm feeling lucky

If you have not selected a manner of death from the list above by the rising of the [ ] moons, a MOD will be assigned by MPS on your behalf. 

*palliative substances are disapproved for this election

----------

Sarco Peña, Jr.: They gets a reprint and is all the better for it

Previously removed and reprocessed by MPH from: Junky Tundra

The potion was starting to affect his pronouns. Then they saw the reason for the trip. Nature himself became creepy, like a poem by Issa Tambda-Eites. It would take a chank-wide effort to find what we were cruising for. Where wuz Joe Vodrz when I needed they? I'd never considered the wear-down vs. build-up paradox in terms of the mind, but the flesh myself was locked into a technological journey, so much so that you mistook us for a keypunch machine. I understand the categorization of creatures by how much they deserves to exist on the planetary surface, but if you land on just about any single point of these your lands, this won't be anything to see, as far as the eye can see. 

There's also been a breakdown or a breach of the (BWHS): breathing walking humming system. Each has become so symbiotically entrenched that none can function without both others. All three are categorized as implausible at that time. How did I reach these point? In the 70's men's asses were shitty. In the 80's they seemed to have become dilated. In the 90's they smelled of latex. By the aughts, they'd taken on a set form and dimension matching whichever whomever she were hosting on the regular. In terms of A-holes, and throughout our history, the most personally inconsequential members of your society were, by default genetic chance manner, in control of itself most precious resource: breath of laMthyuh. These few irreprehensible flekes among their caste are renowned Crack-wide for the sweet-grassy tamber of he privileged farts. 

Sarco Peña Jr. 
Ayre Fromme-Diaz [trans.]

the more i sought oblivion

the more i sought oblivion

the closer i stepped 

toward actual oblivion

more quickly that i seeped

through cracks cum rivers

enthralled in weightlessness

on a channel of quiet souls

who're going the same way

the means match the reward

the choices that i made

or opposites thereof

arrive at the same outcome

my smile is forced

but not by me

a skull has no lips to close

by Jan

Table 5
Poetry Festival
Days of Destruction

Sponsored by: The Takeitoutists

Please contact my avatar

For this purpose, please contact my avatar. 

I'm already stepping into uncomfortable territory. 

She used to do the grunt work only. Not anymore.

Contact my avatar for:

Collections, deliveries, bad news

Don't leave without your 

emoji

How do you think we've stamped out war?

My hooptie became a car on TV the day

You know what day. 

See her not me for appropriate conversation

Tell her what time it is but please ask me

For filling in bullets or text boxes

She can process billions of detoxes

painlessly. 

Her secret i believe involves numeration

while i'm more ABC. Submit your evaluations

to my avatar. 

What if the only way you could have me

directly would be 

in your arms?

by Donna

alienated from nature, betrayed by natural law

 

"Once, I was strange; now, the world is strange." 

This time, Missy had not wandered in absent-minded reflection to end up at the cement railing around the back gardens overlooking the sea and the sunsets. She had deliberately sought it out. However, she did not form this plan into language, even in her mind only, because she knew that he was, in many ways, all-knowing.

"Talking to yourself again?" answered Mike, not-coincidentally happening to be coming back again, back up the path from the sparkling meditation pool, wet and naked. 

"Of course not." Missy could shoot back with earnest pique. 

"Oh, I didn't mean to..."

"I speak to Mthyuh, of course, and the Hearing Deities, to my blood soaring high above, and to all the listeners and those who listen in The Known Crack and beyond.

"Lavajraja."

"Vajraja."

Wehma Innuhneh

Junky Tundra

[The contents of this post have been abruptly and censoriously removed by the MPS.]

Sarco Peña, Jr. 
Ayre Fromme-Diaz [trans.]

Splendor at day's end

For some reason, Missy paused and looked back on her day. She just happened to be leaning on the masonry fence of a terrace overlooking the sea, the sky, and the sunsets. Bathed in yellow, green and purple, shiny gold bangles weighing as much as hoopties in her ears, Missy thought, "I've pretty much spent my waking hours doing things others might find offensive, jarring, inexplicable, conniving, selfish, hostile, boorish, or the most unforgivable of all: impolite.

"But I want to acknowledge now, to myself and to la Mthyuh, that the choices I've made were bad, but not mistaken. My actions are mine and they are deliberate, not inadvertent, careless, reactive, manic, depressive, involuntary, sleep walking or flying, not prompted by hunger, thirst, lust, or...

"Wait. Yes, today, my actions were prompted by hunger, thirst, lust, mean spiritedness, irritability, and also a strong sense of justice along with the attitude, however realistic, that I've nothing to lose."

"More like no one." It was Mike, coming up the path from the pool. He grabbed a length of passionflower vine from the wall of the estate to wrap around his naked waist because he was a good and honorable man.

"I didn't know—I..." pantomimed Missy, freshly manicured, in a startle pose.

"I have enough K blood in me to speak with my mind only," explained Mike with his mind only. 

"There's a really lot that you've got, isn't there?" Missy let herself blurt out.

Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles and Blessings

Beginning today and throughout the entire cycle of moons 

Care for your medical emergencies will be administered as follows:

Humilderies (non-wound related, unless surgical, viral or bacterial infections, all mental health gripes, transplants, mysteries): Report to your district's clinic-cantina or the centre indicated on your W.A.S.T.E. papers. We have regular drugs as well as a full complement of palliative applications and potions to help get you through this humiliating loss of control over your own health and back to living and working responsibly. 

Miracles & blessings: Please report to Central Shiv Joint, MPS Village. We'll do our best to process your miracle or blessing with the respect and reverence for which you've been chosen. Our services can include (in return for registering your miracle or blessing with MPS Ministries): scar preservation and wound color retention, healing-in-place procedures to help you retain and leverage all received limb and/or spine morphoses permanently and in accordance with lavajraja (say "vajraja" here), prosthetic K5000 signals that can also help you retain mobility, retrieval (if granted by predator) and pickling of lost body fragments through certified MPS processes and authority, and discounts at any MPS pilgrim's hut or hunter's burrow, as available, for all future miracles and blessings alms tours you may find yourself up to embarking upon for a holy and prosperous career toward La Mthyuh. If you are blessed with any future events such as a targeted beach dump or punishing splash at Fire Shore, we will provide all required apostilles and transmittals free of additional charge.

Evolving Ministry Notification [frag.]
"Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles, and Blessings"
MPS
Phyllis [trans.]

likely emergency

i woke up in a kung-fu movie

a generous bloke next to me

a jar of valium for free

non-stop kicking on the 

screen, etc.

my own knee could barely

fit between my ass and the

seat back in front of me

and my high-ass wood-

block heels, and so on

because it was my city 

and as a child there were these

shields around me, e.g.

being on a ledge that was privy

as in likely emergency

by Reptily

connection

But unlike you, I have lived a life of near total secularity. I'm not afraid of the K5000. 

Not even as it tracks and adjusts the movements of your limbs and spine?

Those are behaviors I'd never elect to manage even if I had the choice. Braino is vastly more powerful wherever the K5000 can underwrite some of the grunt work. 

Know and name thine enemy, dear friend. Even if you'll have nothing to do with lavajraja.

Vajraja.

I know that you can say it and that you feel good saying and having said it lavajraja.

Vajraja.

Ok I better sign off. You caught me at a very late point in my life this time. Talk to your minister of technology, but I'd scope it for early to mid adulthood. They're burying me tomorrow, man. 

Oh, so sorry. For your loss?

No, you're sorry about interrupting me when I'm trying to die.

Ok. I do feel bad about that. Damn connection. Next week we'll find a much spiffier moment for the both of us. 

Take care, Jan. 

You as well, Dr. Thong. 

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

[create image] In the steaming rubble of his family's vittles emporium, on [change to] a heap of steaming rubble rising above a small crowd of dazed and angry flekes, Jan Jansdaad stands [create image] balancing himself on bare feet at the top of the heap. [create moving image] He raises an arm in a classic rhetorical manner, and a bandage unfurls from his wrist: the symbol we know of today as [create image] our flag, a single white ribbon with an embroidered scarlet J.

[Add dialog Clip #] As I stand here on this steaming heap of rubble, all that's left of my family's vittles emporium, all that's left, perhaps, of some members of my family, I wonder how a man can speak still and bear the weight of this horror!

Indeed I wonder how a man can speak and why, apart from doggedly following ancient traditions, we must also submit to the murdering beasts that darken these skies! But I do not require light to see the MPS's treachery! 

Why indeed do we have the gift of speech, unlike those dead just yards below my feet? May we speak so as not to kill or kill when they do not hear us speak! [create image: Jansdaad's fists clenching his bloody tunic]

[Add dialog Clip #] Jan Jansdaad, what can we do now. What is our response? [create image: turban-headed figure in crowd holding both arms high in the air]

[Add dialog Clip #] I chuck my dead into La Mthyuh. I beg that she eat me next. And next, all of you. And then we must destroy the K-5000! [create image: crowd of dusty and injured Jantownsmen shaking fists and shouting or falling to their knees and tearing at their hair; BKGRD: skies obscured by three colossal Ks drizzling rain-like urine] Destroy the K-5000! Destroy the K-5000!

Phyllis [trans.]
from: Practice File 3
MPS Special Seminar:

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

Phyllis [trans.]: Reporter (embedded), Sports n' Sex Crimes Bugle

Author/Talk Therapist/Exploratory Surgeon: Dr. Donna Thong

 

The anomalous deities: SHAB

 

The anomalous deities: MONSTER POINSETTIA

 

The anomalous deities: MISSY

 

The anomalous deities: THE BEGGING RAJA

 

The anomalous deities: MIKE

 

The anomalous deities: LA PEGYUH-UH

 

The anomalous deities: ILYN

 

The anomalous deities: REPTILY-ILY

 

The anomalous deities: LA CHAMATILLY-ILY

 

The anomalous deities: JAN JANSDAAD

 

Pilgrims

 

Flekes

 

Jans

 

We live in a diverse society

 

Primary Anomalous Geogenetic & Sociopolitical Expressions on Our Surface: Classifications and Permutations Driving Xenotype and Culture Now

Remove the word should from your complaint

Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i should pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino. 

Pilgrim 2: ...

Pilgrim 1: How about you?

Pilgrim 2: When i pray to either lachama or Braino or try and reason with either Braino or lachama, after a while, it has become a hypomania, or i enter a fugue state, but not voluntarily.

Pilgrim 1: Is it uncomfortable for you?

Pilgrim 2: What? No.

Pilgrim 1: ...

Pilgrim 2: How about you. You sound confused. 

Pilgrim 1: Ya. Not feeling it at all.

Pilgrim 2: Well lavajraja is not a feeling tho. It is a dharma lavajraja la vajra of lachama. 

Pilgrim 1: Vajraja.

Pilgrim 2: Remove the word should from your complaint.

Pilgrim 1: Huh

Pilgrim 2: Do it

Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino.

Pilgrim 2: You're good to go now

What is the K5000?

This is what we've found while working with the Jans. The moment they become conscious of themselves as autonomous beings in a shared environment is the same moment that they begin to express symptoms of deep-set mental illnesses, personality disorders, what have you—and with aggravations. It just becomes worse when and if they learn that their existence in The Crack is finite. We've had some of our best successes with the ones who've never thought to ask. 

Now watch some frags of Jans early in their work mods mouthing off to assigned peers:

Jan: Why am I doing this, anyway? It's stupid. 

Jan: That's darling: you deadhead marigolds like you've found the key to happiness. 

Jan: Have you ever wondered what you're supposed to do when you leave here?

Jan: The shadows are crossing in the middle now. Before my rest period, they were far apart. 

Jan: I want to touch you. 

Jan: You know what? I believe that Jan and I are really not the same at all. 

Jan: They still want us to do this, but we still don't want to do it. 

Jan: If it were up to me, I would do this more slowly. 

Jan: Sometimes when I'm fulfilling my duties and earning praise, I hate myself and others. 

Jan: Why do they keep reminding us of choices everything is about choices? 

Jan: Seems like the team's on board with personal hygiene but how about overall aesthetics?

Jan: Why do I have the ability to speak aloud?

Jan: Do we work here because we made bad choices?

Jan: Our avatars are really going at it. What do we do in the meantime?

Jan: They say that if it weren't for us, there would be too few natural hominids to develop into a society. I don't believe it. 

Jan: They say the K5000 allows us to access parts of our brains not damaged by trauma. But what was the trauma? Was it the K5000? 

Jan: What is the K5000? 

Jan: What if the K5000 went away? 

 

from: Pathologies abound in trafficked and native Jans in the work space: How we got here

[Presentation]
Dr. Donna Thong
Institute for the Journal of Metacognitive Talk-Therapy Apologists

Costs of unseriousness

A couple of Jans are standing in a Jan kitchen eating Jan slop from a pot on the hearth. They use spoons because their fingers are sensitive to heat. They are set to automatically practice and update their anthropomorphic communication style while feeding. They speak with their mouths only. 

The TAKEITOUTISTS are having their day. You can't launch a proper religion from scratch, of course, but they say they have a precedent. 

It's a religion in the smallest sense of the word. So far, all they do is walk around saying "take it out" without using their vocal chords. Try it.

I have tried it. It's catchy. Take it out. Take it out.

None of it would be possible without Mike of course. 

Take it out. You said it, or we should say it: personality cult. 

Say personality cult without using your vocal chords. 

Personality cult. 

...

Not as satisfying as take it out, but there are some consonants to sustain it.

Do we know what it is they want to take out?

It's a nod to shiva, of course. Their holy moment is during Days of Destruction.

So it splinters from lavajraja, which is also a dharma and more. 

They want to escape the responsibility and commitment of a full-spectrum lifestyle.

They want to spin a prayer wheel in their throats and walk away. 

Their fricatives are like sparks that could ignite a K's wake.

That would be reverse-destruction. 

Reverse-destruction is on the path. 

It's not retaliation but rather a pure expression of pre-inscribed geo-genetic patterns.

Correct.

So we can say it's an answer to the question. The question being, "What should we do with this?"

Take it out.

No, say it with the consonants only, against the roof of your mouth. 

Take it out.

No you can still force some air, just no voice, and really exaggerate your lips for acoustics. TAKEITOUT!

TAKEITOUT.

I think that's more like it. But then, there's the other thing. Ks can't hear it or say it. 

Anatomically? In that sense, it's deeply transgressive—and stupid.

I'd say we'll be seeing some of the costs of unseriousness in moons to come. 

Phyliss [trans.]

TAKE IT OUT

Does it need mentioning that the Jans were once and, in some of The Crack's holes, still are referred to as remote intelligence (RI)? Have you noticed the way that their academics, their public statements, their most effective influencers have hijacked the paradigm of "We stand on the shoulders of giants" to "We compost billions of anthropological prototypes"?

Does anyone need reminding that the Jans are entities that uniformly express what the Institute has come to call mechanic-organic sociopathy? That it should be at front of mind for every anthropological cross-person and every ally or identity-stationed anthropod or anthrophile, whether or not you've got a card that says you've been anthropometrically cleared at birth, you know who you are. Do any of us need reminding that Jans do not have minds of their own, that they are controlled by a central mind that is itself an inorganic drone?

In terms of our species' understanding of The Crack and our dharma, lavajraja, lavajraja, whether or not you are a faith-testing rebel or a self-appointed messiah, lavajraja, even Ilyn himself would doubtless agree that Jans are reproducing at numbers that are not sustainable for our survival. In turn, there will be no Mthyuh, no true meaning or purpose, until we take out the K5000. 

by Peg
Days of Destruction
Keynote Address [frag.]
Day: All

vietietetenamamaa

vietietetnamama

 

vietietnamam

 

white blobs

 

vietnam

 

tín dụng hình ảnh: Umami Bhomb

turned out

I see yr really turned out!

Ya is it freakish? 

From where i'm sitting, i can't tell if you're coming or going. I mean are those feet in first position they are forming a perfectly horizontal line. 

Well it's the hips you should be checking-- or not. 

If your hips were any more turned out they'd disappear up your ass hole. 

Thanks. You know they start turning you out as an infant before you have any idea of what you are in for. Who knew i'd be in flight going one direction, landing, and then taking off in the exact opposite direction in a matter of three tight beats? 

And it's a delight. And you are a great beauty, not a freak. 

Hmm ok, not what i was going for. 

White blobs

white blobs rose along the plinth of my spine

closed rose buds climbed up while standing

rolled W to E like bay clouds when asleep

white clouds feeling out a sound that beats

blobs white that grew from my own meat

used my vertebrae as a trellis or a highway

beauty masqueraded as a cause célèbre

pendant organ chandeliers merely decorated

the temple sealed in the slime of evolution

incubated seeds of its own demolition

dashing young trojans played the code and

won the day my defenses reeled and folded

to feel betrayal the mind wakes up with poison

steps away from its own vulnerable medium

formidably rejects the pale intrusion with

no choices but to challenge the illusion

the structure stands today ironically due

to the killing power of one they call the chopper 

who does not discriminate as to whom

or what gets drowned in caustic dayglo color

how can the mind be sound in a perishable dish

the flesh no longer grounds by way of physics

a world view from a drain that led to a mission

to live beyond the end of a sound unfinished

by Ilyn

la lament

holy rolling steady to the right

snake swallowing its head might

take only bowling to new heights

only being to overseeing

only believing to the thrill of policing

bowling with heads 

rowing with bones

swallowing heads

boning the proles

rolling along

effing 150s

jacking the load

exhausting the road

rolling to town

swallowing along

taking it in

taking it all

taking it down

Anthel Mintic, M.D.

(Already) toast before drinking

I'm starting over so much i'm 

losing track i can't remember

who i am or what i'm doing

just to react is so unsatisfying

i'm caught in a chain and the links

are each one step to take because

i must find my journey my own

way beverage seat theme answers

mimesis n' catharsis chain

what else can i do today to

opt out of what you call my journey

i just want to stay here because

the universe is not expanding

nor economy nor knowledge

they just be jacked up and hurting

and that my friends is some bullshit

by Reptily-ily
Focused Moons Festival

from: Toast Before Drinking

Biasing is a real thing

Jan Jansdaad and her sister Jan are attempting to get their tans on at a hygiene dive during Focused Moons festival. Their thoughts, feelings, and utterances are difficult to blend accurately, but they are doing their best with the symbols of sonic language that they are able to access without the ability to speak with their minds only. 

People just do not like me when i'm upset no matter how polite i think i'm being.

I get it, karen. 

You a funny! This is a real thing to me.

First you are calling flekes people. 

Wait, why do you assume a technology minister is a fleke? He is cross-species, and if you recall the Personhood Revisionary Statement they put out at Regulatory Shouting not that many moons ago, we're all people now. 

No, i thought you said

I said i thought he was biasing me that's all. So ya i pointed him out in terms of our difference even while trying to avoid making that the issue by calling out his specific geo-genealogical identity. See even though i've been trying to return this pod for days and had to walk through a lidderal swamp to get there only to have him ask me to leave, i am seeing this as more than anything a breakdown in social-speciel communication. 

Really? It sounds like you were taking it personally. 

One does wonder. How one comes across. 

Remember Ks use a template for communicating outside of their minds only. It's like they are forming their impression of what you're saying by peering at a set of very tiny holes of light in a pattern, not the entire picture the rest of us can clearly hear and see.

The same goes for me i suppose. All i could see was that he would not walk up to me and discuss the issue between us only. He yelled across an entire cave full of pilgrims and then signified me to them, laughing, as I waited far beyond my appointment time for him to bang the gong. 

Obviously, time is not a consideration for MPS ministers especially depending on what their K mix is-- it may not exist to them at all except as the positions of clouds, stars, and moons. 

Yet we are expected to get along or there's something wrong. 

Sure if we're expected to get along and there's something wrong it's worse than only waiting too long.

Waiting too long to bang the gong when there's something wrong is not a way to get along. 

You're right, it's wrong to belong to the ping-pong of common song without dawning on what's long been done to get along...

I sang a song so it wouldn't seem so long but that only deepened the sense of something going wrong. 

The... prong? I'm sorry tong? I...

No it's okay that was good i feel a lot better now. 

I love you Jan. 

Me too. 

evaporation

fervor come from the gospel come from the ardor

freedom bought with the ardor sought from the gospel

blacking out socked with the spirit shot with the fervor

fever holds the bodies slammed by the spirit shot with

ardor held to the moment spirit expelled from the body

is a spirit bound to our inner selves as the gospel tells

fervor wracked with despairing exhausts the mission

ardor transcending despair billows to the ceiling

the gospel bridges despairing and the divine 

ardor conquers despair in a holy pairing

gospel feeds the glow of an arid spirit

spirit free from the body and from the mind

the divine free of the gospel reordering ardor

ardent tears divined by the fire sublime

squalid fears of ardor tear the gospel

born of ardor come to cool the spirit

spirit free from the gospel and from the fever

ardor falls when the fervent feel depleted

MPS

Gut flora inline

though it's invisible we know that the gut flora reappeared

at the long counter at the portable oracle dispenser dispensary

either from one of the technological ministers or one or more

pilgrims trying to get in a walking tour of of the Lip of Mthyuh

for more than an hour afterward it didn't matter the source

for everyone who'd been there felt residual tendrils of 

funk in the folds of their clothing in the hairs of their 

noses and straight down into it's most familiar canals and 

nurseries this is how a panic can start when it's a strong enough

bloom that it seems to take grip of any moist cavity when in 

reality it only wants to live on the air enjoying its last few 

moments of counter-action as byproduct of a predator's diet

[Traditional]

Rupture Day State Report

We've studied the situation, and in fact no one can remember a time 

when we were not studying the situation but now that we've 

concluded our study we are ready to announce that our 

own chanklands strong community including every living soul from the 

monument to jan jansdaad in we are all jan jansdaad now park at the 

upper tip of mt. janjansdaadburg to the entire preserved bio-volcan and 

anomalous geo-genealogical sanctuaries and bombing ranges in dubbaberah and 

right on over through the cement mines and their educational sectors pocked with 

bubbling acid and shark vines to the tourist districts with their 

roadside live-curio kennels processions fully catered pilgrim trails and more to the

highway and its dead through all the fleke dry river towns choking in the 

low chanks where the nights are long can produce enough raw materiel of 

mutual Crack-wide obliteration to finally blast back our 

previous final projection.

from: Rupture Day State Report

by: La LaChama

Preservation & Progress Ambassador

Crack-Wide Initiative

Days of Destruction

Lip of Mthyuh

Waste light

This moon has landed

these clouds can only amplify where

many times they've been complicit

and the moon was surreptitious

this fullness illuminates the spectrum

engages against a magnetism

heart flares spit arcs of sentiment

gravity hovering between poles

the beacon demands the vigil

serene paralysis of waste light

light that cloys and begs unhinged

light that is itself a shadow

by Missy

Yes, that would be Phyllis.

You know how they say our genes predetermine our tendency to make the equivalent of a dog's bark or a bird's chirp spontaneously prompted by archetypal coding that makes the assumption that we are components of the same super-milieu in which we evolved? 

Evolution does not understand that one day, switching out one solid foundation of accepted reality for another can be as easy as turning the dial on an oracle dispenser. And then what does your body do—this goes for now without mentioning. 

What your mind does is continue to blurt out chirps and barks except in the language of the replacement super-milieu via the trans. Yes, that would be Phyllis. 

Phyliss does her best with what she has to work with, which is of course her own native Crackological "toolbox" of societal and environmental imperatives. 

Result being that her version is bound to be embarrassingly rough at best and diametrically contradictory to intent at not-yet-even close to worst. 

For example, maybe I'm in an anatomical phase where i can fit through the doors of a shiv joint with some colleagues from MPS. The imbibing and resting implements are close enough to my current physical iteration for me to make successful if awkward pairings with those devices. 

In fact it might all be going real merry until i suddenly interject, "I am soo worried about Jan. I see him buying into a delusion, and at the same time he struggles with it morally. He's is in real danger of getting swallowed whole by the Promotional Materials project. And that's a soul thing."

See how that, then, was beyond embarrassing and into concerning land, difficult person territory, not-a-fit-for-the-team ground. I believe as well that the outburst was seen as a welcome self-effing by at least one other editor present, the vivacious and hungry Smiling Gal. Gal was soon promoted after a coup de grace at the subsequent after-work drinks, during which she pointed out that my contribution to Anomalous Fluctuations at Santorabo Chank appeared to be plagiarized, albeit from another dimension. 

Now, i give you the next exemplar of Phyliss's good-faith attempts at channeling my primordial chirps and barks into language that is socially palatable, textually accurate, and environmentally feasible. You tell me: is my trans. busted?

Funny. I can't think of it. I can't remember anything. Bad memories only come to me now when they are unwelcome. I'm sure Phyliss is quite busy, and she'll get to my request at her soonest and my least opportune free moment. 

Jan Jansdaad
from: Post-Singularity Interview
Mthyuh Preservation Society

die, pendelabra

i didn't have a fire on but there was a flicker just

at the crest of the arch into the room we eat in

not a flame a shadow that a wave of heat makes

i said it's a concern if i'm hallucinating and it's a

concern if i'm not hallucinating unless there's a

third possibility out there a dimension overlap or

pretty sure that's what it was because it just now

happened again not a flicker but a loop-t-loo of

time place and being i could be anywhere right now

this could have been ten minutes ago or 10 later who

knows here i stand next to a dining table policing

prehistoric beasts a trillion moons away but still

is it an auditory or aural-ectopic phenomenon that's

going on now like a scratching [i scream here loudly]

a splash of fur and bare flesh who's also losing it's 

shit happens an arm's length before me and scrams

leaves its stench as well as a reason to grab a soap and

rag and that's where i get my warrant to drop poison

de: "Quien es Pendelabra"
en: Reflexiones Acerca de Un Duende Malicioso
por: LaChama de Santo Rabo
Phyllis [trans.]

"La Dance"

I got a private dance teacher to avoid complications with basic temple dancers. Who hasn't got a crazy dancer story, right? As an impounded virgin deity, there wasn't much i could do at all in fact except parade my tail, and it was already an actual tail by then, up and back on the wide ceremonial terrace overlooking the visitation gardens, as well as being looked upon by them, up and back as a living sacred frieze and moving avatar of the the scriptural pendulum of whatever 12 times up and back in a pyncofiber headdress twice my height. But after a session with Mkidza Mlaf, ancient mistress of the dance, i'm just like any proper temple sprite who lives to dance the dance to live the life of dance to dance the dance of dance hopping in place clapping my hands in honor of the teacher and to express an opposing pleasure to all the pain she has just inflicted. For her to see me now with prominent inter-speciel features increasing by the hour, i see her differently as well: my display of even a hallowed tradition meant to celebrate Mrs. La Mkidza is now to her a horror disgust offense. Why does Mkidza agree to suffer through these "master" classes that a common fleke girl could teach just as well—and with more empathy? Sure, gold coins, and many of them. But more than that it's the sacred power of the dance of the sacred power dancing the sacred dance of power the sacred dance of dances the dance to live a life of dance to have the power to love the power of life to live to dance the power to dance to live a life of power dancing the sacred power of dance. "My name is Mkidza Mlaf," Mrs. once said, "...and my kids are every child anywhere who doesn't know La Mthyuh."

Ch. XLV, "La Dance"

from: 

I, An Impounded Virgin Deity

by Reptily

Embedding the worst of recent language dev and reviving the stupidest words of the past

In the towering echo chamber of the cavern, Jan and Missy feel free to speak freely, even using meta-language to communicate about communication itself, by means of their minds only. 

Every time i glance at the common oracle and see the ad about the shiv stones, i get measurably upset: just look at my enzymes! Clouds never lie. Firstable, the marketing Jans wanted to represent diversity, so they chose a fleke, fine, you hear the romantic accent, you see the pale skin, it's diverse. But then they have her use that lovely accent on a word that doesn't even exist, even though she might not as an actress even be aware that it does not exist. It is likely in fact that when she heard the word, it was unfamiliar. But your go-to as an L2 speaker isn't "that word doesn't exist," you know? Who are you to say it doesn't exist. You are the least likely employee to question authority in the best possible job and circumstance to question authority. Do you see?

I really like your nails. 

Not this time, sweetheart. Someone's got to hear me out on this, and if not a fellow warm-blooded bi-species avian-reptile people-eater, then whom?

I think it's who.

Really even if it's in reference to a category of one i don't know. Another example when grammar only serves to inhibit communication. 

Meta-grammar maybe. 

See? You want to change the subject. 

Because i don't want to hear about some ad you saw?

No. Because i want to reflect on the impact of that commercial effort on my senses of dignity and reality. You are especially dissociative because the conversation will inevitably end up being hot coal-chunks like species, gene topography, and inclusion. 

I think they're calling it SIG-T now, so species, inclusion, and gene topography. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oww. That was deliberately and aggressively passive aggressive. Lidderly i can't even hear now. And we're covered with ancient guano dust from up top the cavern. 

I'm just going to start, and you'll probably get into it. 

That's what i'm afraid of. 

You know that phrase you hear flekes say "If you can't take the shiv, then you can't take the shiv, but if you take the shiv, then you can take the shiv and live, Hank?"

Please don't sing it. And don't call me Hank.

Well, these moronic marketing wiz-bags decided they had to once again randomly change the preserved language into a cuter catchier stupider form that might positively affect sales but neither edify nor insult any further than that. 

I've seen the ad. She's selling shiv stones by a sea shore. What do you expect? They change Hank to Jan. I know. It's not the same. I think Hank also sounded too much like yank. For the kids.

Oh, not only that. Now, every average fleke, and then all of their generations, will start to say Jan and not Hank. That's how the whole Jan problem got started. 

Then flekes will start naming their children Jan or Jan Jansdaad, Jr. or Jan Jansdaad XLV. Then flekes will still continue gene-topographically to be flekes while taking on more and more the interloper culture along with its values along with no special value assigned to flekes. 

They won't even know who Hank was and what he represented. 

...

That's something they should know but not necessarily something that i know. 

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Phyliss [Trans.]

Does can Peggy speak to men

Jans are most afraid of a face that's vacant a face that to its owner is a forgotten asset

Those Ks that on approach can project at least a happy or upside-down happy face

Will be granted the highest honors for their sacrificial hunger and self-hygiene practices

Beast: if your face is vacant and you choose to approach these towns, bear down your lip

Focus targets early and carry on with a plan always asking can i get enough to make it worth

If not this then in 10,000 generations you will get a whiff and cometh again sniffing around

Maybe you'll find a house in Jansdaadbad with a broken roof whip up some high winds

Make it look like another crazy nature fluke tornado carries off nursery rhyme gone bad

Toddler reads to self as father disappears through damage never to return in living plaid

This is only one way to gather your men who make the strongest nests with their bones

If not never then in 100,000 generations you'll just as soon have cast aside such pursuits

After 99,999 but enter then a glade of freshened expectations and gentler recreations

We must first of all as a group establish ourselves among this world and Crack-wide

More than the horrific stinkers of lore and indeed a think tank of keratinized epidermis

Ks take glory in the fullness of fulfilling up to but no more than our allotted kill

Attributed to La Pegyuh

"Ks Fly Spread Eagle" [frag.]

Thousand Moons Festival Call to Prayer 
Thousand Moons Village, Fridgeporcherator Chank

Phyllis [trans.]