Guide me Ho-ma

guide me home woman
guide me to prayer-o

wenna wirl-o manso stron
ma-needa woma company.

walk me thru this bigole
neighborhood, fo-I go grrl.

gai me hom-a nau woma
stop an pray-yay witme.

then we can catch a show
or lounge about ata bar-o.

guide me home woman
gai me to pray-yayer-o.

Mikes's Swimming Blog, Day 90-bouts

Tonight I only waded. I could be a tranny, depending on your definition.

Look, Girls: Get it?

Look, girls: Get it?
Some will say that you are uninformed (they will freakishly pronounce it "on-informed").
Others will say that you are confused. HUH?!?
Still others cite mental illness.

Does a third of each make one in three? I don't think so, honey!

Stick to your "guns" babes! You so rock!

Hoist'em and keep breathing!

A stitch in time say sutured poison don't run!

Pegyuh is the whirl, chile!

Find Someone Who...

is a drama queen.
likes red punch for the lipstain effect.
exaggerates, and whose nipples are erect.
bugs their eyes at you obscenely.
rolls their eyes in digust while making a drink.
is every moment conscious of their hairs.
is always sniffing at the air like a sacked fish.
wears a ladies' perfume so sweet as to induce diarrheas.
is FABULOUS!

Drag Ball Announcement

"Remove body hair unless you're keeping it as part of your act."

"Tease back without being mean, come up with a smart response that is slightly catty but won't get you labeled as a "bitch"."

E-How

Bitchy Community

if you are wearing a wig that's totally straight
and natural baby so it won't melt in contact
with a square, just maybe fizzle, and you can
let it fly, "we don't have time to be in line. we
bitches. we need men now, we don't think any-
much else is funnie. we bitches cuz we've our
freedom and we prettie pissed aboudit," al-
ways standing in a slak circle smoking and
pointing rocked back on one long boot heel.
i am making a stand here near a gutter to say
look, it idn't right. and she's in there (pointing
out) and i'm out here (pointing down) after..."
whatever. then all the sudden they laughing,
they laughing, wild, start scratching each
other tops and poolin hair. they exhausted act-
ing animals that way, leanback on a public
bench giving each udda da dubba-berrl out
f'm undah dey skirts o' dresses. "u a slag."

Trannie Month, Day 3

"Tryna rince a ho-lotta swole-up kibble dow-ntha spose-all!"

Here I felt like a Georgie-girl in her new Bronx apartment. There is a scrappy rat terrier whose she feedin big pyreena chunks and each one is a biscuit t'him. She has a curly style could withstan several days partying if you keep it combed out n'spraid. So da curlz just be bob-een inna sank while she rince da dish. So, she keep it casual dat way an: reeyul.

On the mas-que lynne side, i cd be a peasant farmer and loaf of bread in dego-t swatting flies angerly at da rustic table, the one where he's really losing it. Good thang female side, from her tray-nang can do some clee-nup an doe-ne-vuh free-kout whan thangs start t'geuh-tang stee-yuf.

"Sorry": Bitchiness is Part of My Culture

if you wunna take seven yeer yo
roll fo to figgr out: you ged-it, you
ennup evvy tam az da bee-yawtch.
I am tayking it all f'm u-soze I cn
keep it rill. min, I aina gennlmin.

"I'm a Man and a Woman, Too": Pegyah Now

Read up on sexy Peggy Yuah: ageless New-Age eccentric say she don't have any gender identity to prove... or hide.

Q: Peg, may I...

A: Of course, Donna.

Q: Peg, you've been picked on and panned for your free-roaming gender-benders at the cost of our society. How do you respond?

A: I think that I've got even more man in me than most of my Knowers would reflexively attribute. Gender? I see me as a liberated man more than a hot, modern woman. At home with his masculinity: it's his skin and he's wearing it. Not pasting on cardboard eyelashes and playing Vegas. I'm me with a pussy, and I'm me with a dick. Just so happens I've got one... or the other. And I feel good about that.

Q: This has been Dr. Donna Thong and I think just about everyone's favorite ritual goddess, Peg. The Pegyah! Give it up.

Mike's Swimming Blog, Day 11: Aquagesturals

If you make movements that are not normally thought to be water movements, you can go as fast or faster than you can with regular water movements, and with a priusload of energy savings, chile.

For example, dog movements way beyond the dog paddle can propel a human through liquid whereas with a canine it could fail. If you make a movement as if you are wagging your tail in still pool water, you will propel.

If you are on your back and act like a young pussycat theater stud and sort of pump the surface tension, you will propel, and quickly. This tongue-like motion allows you to "lap" with all the same goodie health points as a linear lap, except for that everyone else is hermaphroditic in comparison to your bonus "green" aquagesturals.

Chamatily meets Pegyuh

They are like the divas of the shattered and mutated world of Pariah. They are virgin and whore, whore and virgin, whorgin, vore, vore-whorgin, and whorgin-vore.

Chamatily could be a hundred years or more older than the Pegyuh. But Peggyists might say that Pegyuh is the superior being because she developed into the fullfillment of a prophecy rather than something that caught on in a flash and rode a wave of popularity straight into a life of crippling bindings and harsh ceremonial confinement. She knew it would be better than jail or coach.

Pegyuh explained to the Tilly,

"Being raised up in a temple, you learn there are basically two kinds of people. One kind is a holy but poor kind, needing your help. And the other kind is you."

"Or rather, you," Chama gently corrected.

"Yes, me," confirmed Peggy, smiling like a cosmetologist.

"I was taught that I had and I was something, someone very special because I had something very special, and I had something very special to give. Therefore, when I went out with my specialness and people found it, found me special, I thought it should be because of something special inside me, the special part of my being that is at my center. Instead, what they found was special about me most, the specialness that meant most to them was my tits."

"I am always topless, and my public accepts me so."

"Pardon me, but isn't that because women of dark African descent always appear to be dressed, even as they are nude?"

"Darling, no. That's not it. We are so often naked, yet we are so seldom shocking or obscene."

"You are a beautiful woman and a very special individual."

"you are the mother of all races. your milk is the milk of mthyuh and feeds all our faces. all the maidens and all the virgins milk and suckle on your multiple nipples, giving rise to all peoples. your spout of all..."

"Pardon me once more, Reptily," cautioned Peg, feather light.

"Eat me now Mthyuh, for I have disappointed your milk daughter, milk of her... Oh! You call me my born name from da first WD."

"I have and have always had, always forever will have only two nipples. You need to get that right."

"No, mama. You need to catch a hint from one who has jacked the train of public approval and rode it on in to the temple true da back dough. Now I'm all up in here witchu, and I need to say, 'You really otter be necket.' No one will question you then. No one gets in the pantheon without da bust."

"But I guess you must know. I am a lesbian."

"And I'm really a guy! Does it matter now? For the group photo we'll be facing one another and turning just our heads toward the shivhole, so it'll be your left one and my right, or vice- versa, whichever one is better on each of us-- hopefully they'll oppose."

Photodelic Re-Engenderation

21: Time is a Liar

Now wait a minute, Sylvia. I'm wearing lipstick, and you ask me if there's some special name I'd like to be called? I don't ask you that when you put on lipstick. Though I might think of you as some special name or another. With peach you are more a "Janice," with brick you are more an "Audry," and with the bluer tones, "Wendy."

They were at Ted's working on their letter-writing campaign. They felt that the Audubon Society, among many others, should know about the creature they'd been glimpsing hopping from gate to gate or just standing dumbly alongside the canals. It shared many of the characteristics of the Reddish Egret, except that those areas which would have been covered with feathers, and in the same colors, seemed to be tiled or even armored in a very hearty as well as irridescent, metallic plating. The Mthyah Preservation Society website had been down for weeks, and they weren't sure how, if at all, their reports and samples had been processed during previous migratory guest anomalies.

Envelope stuffing had allowed their conversation to drift.

Gee, you know I ran into Lourdi Spires the other day in Career Center, and it's like sometimes there's a limit before you just have to let these holier-than-thou types know that they could really go ahead and act more Christian!

Well there's remember Hoolie? Maintenance? Went around acting just like Christ and wasn't afraid to tell you so. What a dirty freak. Heretic. Stank.

God you know he could have been a shooter. Good thing that cancer he had got him off our campus at least.

Chang K. Chang

OK everyone. We're gonna have a drill on what happens if we for some reason lose access to the pollsticks. I know it's hard to imagine a scenario where we would both lose access to the pollsticks and be compelled to continue on with a class session because would there be power anyway and would people be too upset but here we are.

Instead of thumbing the red button, you are going to have to turn your head left, then right repeatedly until I've been able to visually record everyone's primitive answer.

Instead of knuckling the green button, just lift and then lower the head-- again, please don't stop until I have made what we'll call "eye contact" so that both you and I know that I have manually registered your primitive answer.

First question. Should they stop Shiv Sack Week just because we liked Chang K. Chang and she got sacrificed this WD. Instead of intensified gender expression, we can only think of Chang K. Chang and how she brightened our lives and how Mthyah already had many Hell Daughters to milk her. Yes or no. Respond now please.