fag palimpsest

today's date seems hyperbolic, out of control
that the rush to this number made a whiplash

yet i'm a fresh ingenue on the go in the know 
the limber can bend to degradation and graft

i hear this howling wind at civility's warm tip
no executive function to animate my skeleton


by Hoolie

Civilian Parking Vigilante

Hello I'm a CPV and I don't particularly like the way you're parked.
No as a volunteer I merely observe and report.
The word narc refers to an anti-narcotics officer, of whose numbers I would be proud to serve.
A snitch is someone who is involved with the perpertrator; my only involvement is patriotism.
Choose to use that type of language with me and you'll end up in a cell for a very long time.
I already know that the combined force of the PD and court system is on my side, same team.
I would not wear a body cam even if I were on payroll; it would infringe on my workplace privacy.
Yes I suppose that does have advantages for both sides; I mean either one of us could...
Shit no...!

They II

They relish the hope-to-die thrills of off-roading and extreme pain relief.
They'd rather burn down their city than see it usurped by other citizens.
They hold tradition in high value or contempt per their convenience.
They resonate with team sports, commercial mobbing.
They see entitlement in wealth, greed in poverty.
They're enraged by windfall and celebrate loss.
They foresee outcomes, not repercussions. 
They favor the red ant/ black ant analogy. 
They find merit in ends, not means.
They conflate truth and emotion.
They're sentimental about God.
They equate fortune to merit.
They equate merit to fortune.
They think they do God's work.
Their emotion is also their truth.
They see smoking to their own ends.
They reach out to color not lack of color.
Their caution gets trumped by brute force.
They are indignant at loss but not built to win.
They mine poverty and privilege alike for riches.
They cycle, golf, jog, for real or on machines, joylessly.
They trace precedent before each step but don't foresee a rest point.
They let the city burn itself by tearing down its walls and holding noses.
They might parachute, sea dive, or helicopter through the Grand Canyon.

Your graphic proxy

Baby jesus in a ditch

the tiny arms hurt
seeing that, infant
civilization that
seeded, cashed out
between the rest
stops eighty sixed
full-of-piss peanut
butter jars adjacent
his tiny dick, white
glow in the culvert
your face is slapped
too clean to grift
just a comic waste

Temporary nature of art

years later they see the light
but only the largest quasars

one wrist so soft it lasts a life
quiet as the cattails where a

baby can float, be found, not,
become king or food for lions

lose touch with human bodies
that belong to who you know

abut and cooperate in pods of
nobodies, also talking into air

race of the elders, some ugly
these are my new spirits now?


by Ken
Wigwam #3
Webelos Wolves Weekend
Chukkachank

Methane

it burns to speak or to be silent so speech is not the fulcrum but rather itself the burning. the burning is the enemy and the enemy must be burned. burn their speech their silence while watching silently.

watch them secretly, whispering their frailties; they will fail. Fail them openly as a sign that a limit has been breached, a singularity. H/she whose issue burns need not be burned if flammable but not fire.


Illyn
"I'm short for Illinois."

War is taught

my communication is fraught

and bare naked of tv or drugs

this night wanking breathless

unto some cruel Jerusalem...

but back to you and pen me:

swarms of wasps couldn't be

more attentive to utterances

if they reeked of fresh muds;

through battle, war is taught


by Missy
"I'm big now."

cathexas

what if you don't want everything to connect
you just want each contraption to work right

what happens as they age is consciousness is
an awareness that vision happens inside your

body, not out there; or that there's little to no
layer between out and in, and what you can

see includes throbs of blood bending sight
copied and pasted optical memories fading

it's a world of ghost images and representa-
tions of solid matter taking on the machin-

ery and personality of perception, turning
the self into a strange otherness of objects
 


by Ken
"I'm on medical marijuana."

furnace vents

furnace vents clicking
is it degradation or ex-
ercise, popping in and
out? galvanized steel
or aluminum, and can
it not quietly put heat?

Ken

Had it tough/ made it tough

relative to your culture
you may have had it
but you also made it
tough. that's why they
are after your hide, not
so much now for labor.

if everybody's tough it
means you'll have it
make it tough together,
on a ladder, as brothers
in survival, all striving
to get above the other.

when they make it
tough, they teach you
how to make it rough.
you make it tough but
then you know how to
be rough on others.


Reptily

left, right

corron

Clown

i get all sentimental for hard days
when the battle was out there but
in me too, those fierce hot interludes

can boxer and ring recede/ withdraw
simultaneously; have i just explicated
the next law of the universe and time

no it is only i who hesitates to resume
my sinking resolve is counterweight
to gloom when in company of the tired


by Ken

deer patches

Mansion

they're not offering protection
just striving to recuperate sun
from where we laid the mansion

they want their slain neighbors'
share although it's really yours:
the proverbial wild v. colonizers


by Donna

Slave of the Chama

It's only 10:00, but I'm so tired, but if I go to bed she'll probably attack me and if I sleep in the other bed I may toss and turn, and she'll take it personally and feel lonely during the night.

In theory we are a sexually active couple but the boundaries are difficult for me to negotiate sharing a queen bed. What if I really want to take a non-euphemistic nap?

And it's not as if I'm a rock; it is in fact distressing to have only 4-6 hours to sleep before the alarm and trying not to get started into a drawn-out love act.

My doc, admittedly swish, says it's a weekly necessity at least-- or you could be risking any number of invasive/ interventionist consequences. 

Yet I resist: that it be my discretion, my first strike option above the will of a frequent fertilizer, that the pleasure first is mine.


Tom
"Don't ask."

Repressed hallucination

Shag bark with poison ivy

Epilogia

So far dying has been a dark quiet encounter;
heartfelt words you'd think might end it all:

beacons for liveliness oaths battle the blood.
Coming down the other side blends epilogia,

bittersweet memory, stun of what's this now
crane back from down the tram and tree lines

Once a fear and then another's made you say
goodbye, you see it all as practice for 1 event

All the times you've trained gymnast like at
each meet and fight, sickness, fail, emptiness

Makes moot the eyes any sense but common
jaded less betrayed by lies than to move along

to actually pick up and gone the humiliation
worse than the bothering worried cohabitation

close-knit breed, take me into your free land
where wind blows the goatees of noble faces


Mike
"Please, Hoolie."

i'm trying something new

i'm trying something new
i'm telling them I believe
in their abilities but only

some maybe I should tell
them all I believe, that
you can tell the story right

you can use conventions
as a template for audiences
to understand effortlessly

is there no one in your life
with whom you speak in
this way, laying out your

argument and hammering
it home relentlessly hoping
to strike or gain or move?


Dr. Donna Thong
(relicensure imminent)

Gender as skillset

 

this alibidinous moment
to me seems androgynant

what astrological wisdom states
follows his or follows her fate


Tom
"Come back to me, Sylvia."

Halves not had

They live half as long because they
live while they're sleeping with no
distinction between the conscious
states and therefore life is doubled.

And sometimes they awake or only
half so, while staying in both worlds
they straddle this line, fly and drive
with half a mind, and half that mine.


Phyllis (embedded)

Cliffe Suites Mom Late Night Felony

back when i was
legally responsible
for naming people

a glitch, a bulb of
cranial pressure
formed in my head

i could do it then
out of babies you
give up psychiatry

so i explore skies
away from all eyes
until i crack dawn

when it flows lives
perch on hot wires
while it subsides


Peggy, Volunteer
Table 5
Poetry Day
Center for the Meta-Cognitive Talk Therapy Apologist Movement

Me, master

I've already trained the dogs not to go past the edge of the woods
so when we install the wire,
it'll be a violation of their conscience if they choose to go there
as well as a painful anti-bellweather peal and a vote for me, master
come future forks in the proverbial choice path:
one way, freedom-- the other way safety, comfort, structure


Donna
"Enjoying my patio today."

Shard 3

are we not all
do we not all
well I hear voices, others' voices, in my voice

so I'm not all one or composed of other voices
not everyone
or not no one


Chamatilly
Shard 3
Fordamall Chank 

Spots

Raised on open-ended talk therapy, they began to want a face to want their feelings and so began to feel unimportant and uncomfortably swollen with emotive language as the sessions ebbed.

They began to wonder if they'd ever find the kind of begrudging rapt attention that a specialist, predisposed to listening and to caring, could give them; if they'd been genuinely interesting.

They noted at some level that it worked on one another but it felt a bit like incest, which it wasn't. The world out there was relevant while full of spots that wanted to defy them an existence.


Donna Thong
Registered Recertification Intern
Highchank Spa 
Highchank

Hard heart

if you were born with one side of your jaw fused together
it would feel like your face was breaking when you yawn

i want not to learn more but for learning to leave me alone
it gradually stops sinking in and you know enough to hide

when you came out of the coma it was on the awkward side
fate too I chose to leave as if it were as it was, accomplished


by Hoolie
"Sorry Mike."

You warp quotidian

brusque post-noon sun gives over
to cooler evening breeze creeping in

temperatures sway on the spine of
shadow, edge of volcano whipping

torn outline of ruling hedge above
you warp quotidian dark and light


Illyn
"Short for Illinois"

Optimistic flotsam

They have to kick balloons to walk
Before the help with popping sticks
Fans through aisles and over stages
Jabbing in competition with a child
To quell the last optimistic flotsam

Self-loathing and hate, exasperation, fatigue

Mood was fine, then
bus driver aimed the door to stop way ahead
and even though it was a white person getting
off, I held it against her and didn't look her in
the eye as I put the money in the slot. Then I
couldn't get out and she said press the button
in the box, and a black woman behind me said
thank you to the driver and pressed the button
for me and I did hate everyone for a while as
I walked up the sidewalk. Then finally when I
went to check out with a protein shake, I asked
nicely for a couple of fives to take the bus and
the cashier said sure no problem and my whole
world became again a dreamer's paradise. Now
however, I recall the part I've blanked out: an
earnest prayer said just before through a storm
of self-loathing and hate, exasperation, fatigue


Jan Jansdaad, Jr.
Dr. Donna Thong
Case Management Intern

RE-CAP: cleo

chank excavation

heeza kanga the thangah

READ ME

I AM A NOTE INSIDE A WALL
FROM 2013

Apes on turtles

phone for sophisticated luddites
carrying on unto inconceivability

replacement of modernity by tec
hnology: more hustlers in stores

we see apes rolling in on turtles,
arthritic metacarpal-phelangeals

Choking Technocratic Layer

Sorry not to have more carefully parsed the sticks and noughts

As regards your proprietary and/or franchise participating eggs

to step across guiding expecting evaluating eggs spouting their

instructions admonitions hundreds of modules packed with the

blood and sweat of someone in the bowels of the grift platform

who churns out help materials so offensively unhelpful that the

product makes more neediness for real help from sham helping

Tom 
"You can be older and still on a revolutionary vanguard: against mandatory yet fraudulent embetterment."

Anew

a forest's waste
hangs and tumbled
junk. dripping,
waits as forces suck
the black paste back
in. frozen, from an
elbow swings free
parts harden to a
finer end. animals
that participate add
vim to glue but then
but recreate anew.


by Sylvia

Deepest place

for a moment I saw my psyche as a piece of real estate,
the architecture of a tree house with many round shades;
and this it appears to me means it's an inhabited system
but also that the tyranny of civilization applies, even
in that deepest sleeping place you can go before a coma


Love, Donna

skylight

Angelique Carmina

It feels like the whole
human race: go round
thinking it's my party,
wreaking havoc, the
fame-to-shame swang;
night is not a reward
but a defeat; anger is
a way that I can exp-
ress my sexuality or
gender for all to see it.

It looks like I'm onto
getting an object done
getting on hard effect-
ting a one-thing-to-an
-other change, or just
really pumped up and
that works cosmetically
for me; my partners ev-
er play the victim, but
it perpetuates attraction.


by Angelique Carmina

we're equidistant from the gate and each other

 

we're uncomfortably close
except when playing this
intergalactic starship game

we've formed a fleet and
move synchronous stealthy
toward the warp apparatus

missions are ridiculously
easy now less strategizing
with the brute force of two


Hoolie
"For you Mike"

Coprolaic

I'm coprolaic
I cannot hold my shit
hormones that brush past
my amygdalae are agressic

in a spike I don't handle life
well, only want to spit
and create strife;
fuck it.


Reptily

Lookup

You're calling back from the future but
it seems to me you call from the past
And you're calling me in the past but
I too am here in the future just not with

you. It's just that it didn't last, and then
we were friends and then your descent
your hostages your promises awakening
and then fool me twice and now you call

me here, lost in time, or rolled in the
torrents. I reach back not forward I find
what I know is true in those dioramas
down here at the bottom of the vortex


Sylvia

Sex changed my life

now i'm insane
but i can still recall
the initial stain
the birth of all

innocence crossed
overlapped activity
way past nativity
and never got lost

only knowing sets
in; trust if not dread
what ea. path begets
is grounded to a bed


Jan Jansdaad
"I'm the dad of my daughter Jan. My dad too was named Jan after his, etc. Jan can name her son or daughter Jan and may already have."

hip click

 

daylight hours are too fraught, still
less than evening's piqued replays,
and my hip clicks walking near the
ears of the seated; i'm an amazing

thing. here, deep night comes into
play. life for most is suspended, a
pool in two dimensions, while the
fewer number brave grateful sighs.

tho paucity of sun will block sight
one might grope around to identify
the very young and going old and
otherwise awake n' hopeless ones.


by Donna

Stuck in a drama means

chemical love dungeon:
stuck in a drama means
you see and feel all of it

the slow gut gyration is
wait that could be a bug:
ulcerous source as moot

i pray to be grateful for
this opportunity to have
these particular horrors:


Reptily
"Ima continue."

Bounds of trespass

you'll have the old farm house next to the new one because they owned all that property. Then the old one might become a huge compost heap, storage out building, rental, haunted ancestors. Then the farmers move away to a city and workers and machines till the soil and one or both houses might go roofless turning back to the land with remains, maybe the cement pool and patio, coated in pesticide

i said i don't like anything but i used to like that back before they kicked my ass out of there. now there's only intimate persons and no new world, back to primal shack, no more camping out at the cusp of the void in kumeyaay cahuilla and torres-martinez home, always the spaceman the visitor, no reason for pride in ancient family grants, and then the safe anonymity within the bounds of trespass