CAP'M PARIAH

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles and Blessings

Beginning today and throughout the entire cycle of moons

Care for your medical emergencies will be administered as follows:

Humilderies (non-wound related, unless surgical, viral or bacterial infections, all mental health gripes, transplants, mysteries): Report to your district's clinic-cantina or the centre indicated on your W.A.S.T.E. papers. We have regular drugs as well as a full complement of palliative applications and potions to help get you through this humiliating loss of control over your own health and back to living and working responsibly.

Miracles & blessings: Please report to Central Shiv Joint, MPS Village. We'll do our best to process your miracle or blessing with the respect and reverence for which you've been chosen. Our services can include (in return for registering your miracle or blessing with MPS Ministries): scar preservation and wound color retention, healing-in-place procedures to help you retain and leverage all received limb and/or spine morphoses permanently and in accordance with lavajraja (say "vajraja" here), prosthetic K5000 signals that can also help you retain mobility, retrieval (if granted by predator) and pickling of lost body fragments through certified MPS processes and authority, and discounts at any MPS pilgrim's hut or hunter's burrow, as available, for all future miracles and blessings alms tours you may find yourself up to embarking upon for a holy and prosperous career toward La Mthyuh. If you are blessed with any future events such as a targeted beach dump or punishing splash at Fire Shore, we will provide all required apostilles and transmittals free of additional charge.

Evolving Ministry Notification [frag.]
"Upgraded Services for Humilderies, Miracles, and Blessings"
MPS
Phyllis [trans.]

likely emergency

i woke up in a kung-fu movie

a generous bloke next to me

a jar of valium for free

non-stop kicking on the

screen, etc.

my own knee could barely

fit between my ass and the

seat back in front of me

and my high-ass wood-

block heels, and so on

because it was my city

and as a child there were these

shields around me, e.g.

being on a ledge that was privy

as in likely emergency

by Reptily

Saturday, February 24, 2024

connection

But unlike you, I have lived a life of near total secularity. I'm not afraid of the K5000.

Not even as it tracks and adjusts the movements of your limbs and spine?

Those are behaviors I'd never elect to manage even if I had the choice. Braino is vastly more powerful wherever the K5000 can underwrite some of the grunt work.

Know and name thine enemy, dear friend. Even if you'll have nothing to do with lavajraja.

Vajraja.

I know that you can say it and that you feel good saying and having said it lavajraja.

Vajraja.

Ok I better sign off. You caught me at a very late point in my life this time. Talk to your minister of technology, but I'd scope it for early to mid adulthood. They're burying me tomorrow, man.

Oh, so sorry. For your loss?

No, you're sorry about interrupting me when I'm trying to die.

Ok. I do feel bad about that. Damn connection. Next week we'll find a much spiffier moment for the both of us.

Take care, Jan.

You as well, Dr. Thong.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

[create image] In the steaming rubble of his family's vittles emporium, on [change to] a heap of steaming rubble rising above a small crowd of dazed and angry flekes, Jan Jansdaad stands [create image] balancing himself on bare feet at the top of the heap. [create moving image] He raises an arm in a classic rhetorical manner, and a bandage unfurls from his wrist: the symbol we know of today as [create image] our flag, a single white ribbon with an embroidered scarlet J.

[Add dialog Clip #] As I stand here on this steaming heap of rubble, all that's left of my family's vittles emporium, all that's left, perhaps, of some members of my family, I wonder how a man can speak still and bear the weight of this horror!

Indeed I wonder how a man can speak and why, apart from doggedly following ancient traditions, we must also submit to the murdering beasts that darken these skies! But I do not require light to see the MPS's treachery!

Why indeed do we have the gift of speech, unlike those dead just yards below my feet? May we speak so as not to kill or kill when they do not hear us speak! [create image: Jansdaad's fists clenching his bloody tunic]

[Add dialog Clip #] Jan Jansdaad, what can we do now. What is our response? [create image: turban-headed figure in crowd holding both arms high in the air]

[Add dialog Clip #] I chuck my dead into La Mthyuh. I beg that she eat me next. And next, all of you. And then we must destroy the K-5000! [create image: crowd of dusty and injured Jantownsmen shaking fists and shouting or falling to their knees and tearing at their hair; BKGRD: skies obscured by three colossal Ks drizzling rain-like urine] Destroy the K-5000! Destroy the K-5000!

Phyllis [trans.]
from: Practice File 3
MPS Special Seminar:

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better