instead of taking on a whole new imaginative god-world
they simply refused to learn much about the science-world
and from that mystery their fantasies hung
they were pendant on truths too fiery for questions
their humility grew from an easy acceptance of unknowability
even the experts kept jumping all the way ahead
to the volcano's edge of knowing
and within those boundaries sought to keep proving nothing
we couldn't tell why it was bright out
basic blindness was the scheduled moon
it was a reflective light but of what
lala keeps track of which route/ night
we headed left below the shiny cloud cover
these days she's prone to weave and digress
the sounds have changed with the freeze
what makes it through the brick is a moaning
now and then a snap, the mini pipes of tinnitus
by Jan
X:
you have a dazed face narrowing your attention to the peripheries
as a fish looking ahead and behind might be the effort part
it doesn't matter where i stand because you are my object, not the opposite
i would torture you with language if i were much better at it
you are made humble by not having anything better to do
Y:
even i am your this or that sounds to me to be too self-referential
so i'll be silent to also avoid objectifying you with the word you
this is half a hollow ringing sphere also with a ring in its nose
there we go we is presumptuous but it he she all ok by me it him
i am attendant by accepting attention as one would rain
i won't see you again til the pictures come back
we'll point the lens where the world would be
had it not been and gone so quick
perhaps it still exists between the clicks
even our faces might rematerialize
thanks for the kisses but i fear i'm your salt lick
hollowed out on one side and more sensitive there
where the wind passes through i glimmer
my elbows operate as if by riding straps
with your shit i can still pluck the unfrozen grass
my knuckles are warm and let me tie the knot
but a massive arctic front is imminent
i'll stand in the kitchen window to watch you squat
by Jan
flashback three days it was a
half moon with a blade on the flat side
then came the self-imposed blur
an off angle of mismatched crescents
suggests a circle but
now it's joined up with other forces
also in their glory if for an evening
Toris, the horoscope lady in her fort
her tense prophecies about the weather
the lottery is now our widest belief tent
into the dark is where we went
passersby were spooked and silent
we could only hear them in the grass
when they were already up upon us
pedaled fast because it's become dry
i produce a plastic bag from Pharmsupply
and pick up lala's shit
by Jan
you can always plan for a fall but when it happens
the ass goes to ground fairly quickly
you live in more than one dimension and
you've got to be aware of the one you're seeing
upside-down world where the signs are all menacing
right-side up world where the signs lead to an exit
if not you'll mindlessly play along and fuck up
or get tripped up in the signs and become despondent
but none of that will keep your balls off the pavement
overall if you can still feel them you're fine
a half moon hung among the branches
and behind the trees stained velvet sky
sent the children home but also sirens
they came in droves learning the approach
modified for pairs of teenage jackals
the tiniest possible skeletons and wizards
we could monitor the door throughout our wanderings
along the path that winds between the trees
but no one tripped the light above the steps
rabbit and seal parents confessed their plan
to consume the bounty of their charges' words
bypassing both threat and vulnerability
by Jan
Ilyn sits best he can in a lotus position as Reptily gently picks blood clots off his scalp and back and replaces them with a rub of mineral oil and bright yellow sulfur dust. Water drips from a shaggy black fungus lining the walls of the cave.
ILYN: My life force flickers like a spook bulb.
REPTILY: You have the miraculous but unfortunate curse of carnation redundancy. You keep being born again, but uglier.
ILYN: But what I can see is all beauty.
REPTILY: Then you are selfish to boot. Never mind our horror when we gaze upon you.
ILYN: I've proven my willingness over and over to disappear forever.
REPTILY: By now you know it's only a ritual. It could never be the same as that first surrender.
ILYN: Until I jumped into Mthyuh's roiling gut, I was burning from the inside out.
REPTILY: Why is it. Why do others want to stay and can't but you can't go and stay away.
ILYN: Why do others want to stay and can't but I can't go and stay away?
REPTILY: Yes.
ILYN: My cross to bear is the mystery of my cross to bear. Flekes come to me because I am the most extreme expression of their own befuddlement. Like they'd watch a kid beating a doll against a fence. Ya, I am that doll, and I am that child.
REPTILY: Ya I am that fence and you whitewash me. I mean I say you are full of shite. You are holy, another mystery. You'd cash your own mother into indentured servitude to heresists. Oh wait.
ILYN: Ya look who's talking. At least you kept her in the family.
REPTILY: She could do worse than collect shiny coins at volca and command shiv service on her own servants all week. It was her idea. She herself is practically a deity now. All life is contingent and symbiotic. Except for yours, Illinois.
ILYN: Look at us. A pair of broken records. Have you ever noticed that my full name looks like a "no" peeking out from behind bars?
REPTILY: With an s on the end.
ILYN: Ya that's silent. You know what it means. Freedom. No to not freedom.
per Phyllis (embedded)
first lala started wandering in circles and
pulling me along in her orbit and then i
felt so wobbly and we were both getting
magnetized by that tree that you and
i together couldn't get our arms around
but its power seemed to wane once we
stumbled closer stopped watched the
beige sides of its fallen leaves return
ambient light but as if from beneath
so that there were mini search beams
reaching back as i bent over to pick
up the poo, and when i added my
torch we nearly swooned again the
ground tilted and we had to ride it
bent kneed the rest of the way lala
was straining on the lead but not
ahead, sideways as if to mark her
value to be free but also bound or
to bring me along to her agenda
striped with shadows in these lanes
confounding cats for pumpkins for cats
while at home she will lie by my feet
by Donna
i'd been farllowing their ruings fer halfa mall
when lala stop they caught up walkeen tall
lookeen straight ahead sep for eyes all starry
who turn arounan winkan say he sorry
because the harvest is coming up
shadows are jabbing into daily life
a afternoon walk with my pup
turn into a tree with a knife
it's the planet's sickning turn tort
flame on the horizon you caynt
walk backwere fass enough or
evolve or spind or learn
sure your clan presents a novel difficulty
but it's otherwise unrewarding
who wouldn't take easy bake up the street
or a pendant night on el capitan
my path has not led to gender psychedelia
but i've come very close now to what
amounts to a high-tech diaper fragment
and i can tell you sometimes: it's clumpy
Lillian "Lil" Modat
i'm just saying words because i can't let you touch me
you know how you might mutter nonsensical somethings
on a train car under the roar resting on a man's shoulder
its the equivalent of a purr though i should know better
or a cocked-up night caller imitating dump trucks
songbirds must sing their garbage regardless
i think a dog wants to converse but there's no
water in the dish and that's how much language
can fill up or satisfy your absent vacuum
blathering on a stool makes me an easy mark
because the words are just a placeholder for your agency
i give you all of these raw and unperturbed by care
all the sentences i have expressed have brought me
trauma-induced attention deficit disorder from their failure
as abjectly worthless as money or religious fervor
as open and sincerely as to share pips from a grove
i grant this empty meaninglessness for you to throw away
as soon as you can see me pull up in the drive
take nighttime dog walks only in a waxing moon or if you see party lights
you can both track the stages with optimism
avoid the panic of shadows dissolving in oil
projecting feelings that hope disappears
how likely is it to look up and see one ring glowing open in the cloud pavé
and arch your back and spin your face to find that
you stand at the center and yes the dark has singled you out
while in fact you're stealing time from the night that you'll have to pay back
what were the words we left below that 3/4 satellite
why do those i do collect arrive at home
disjointed and unintelligible, snow back from a mountain,
a muttering pool behind a firewall of mist
No more-cum-forever
all i could produce
after getting the news
was shot through with blood
i earned but didn't save
no white cotton briefs
-cum-air to breathe
not a drop for your beard
no signed letter marks
nor for sofa pillows
check your bucket seats
for the dusts of time
my-cum-yours
and this always was
every iteration
even the invisible ones
counting off elations
i still subscribe
at least in my
heart-cum-mind
by Jan
At some level they all knew they were bad and that the only good would be to wipe each other out and to enjoy doing it.
There was also thanks to the shiv an intense respect for the individual spirit in each putrid violent body, sprites who were challenged to but could not become angels and were unavoidably and irredeemably sucked into the gravity of their hollow pelves, long fingers, and tiny manus.
"List of lists, I've lost my license." Jan spoke with her mind only, but it was real language.
Peg: "You funny."
"I mean I really los... oh, damn."
"Ya they make them so thin they can get lost in a clump of pycnofibes on your ass."
Both: "Hahahahahaha!"
Jan: You know, Peg: I could just swoop around with you forever.
Peg: That's what this is, this moment.
Their wings were on slow beat two, three times. There were no peaked or valleyed panoramas, just some yellow mist and greenish floor which both stretched out and curved down as if over a globe through all the angles they could see out of.
My dorsoventral flap is really chafed.
I like the vet-mix salve down at Friends' Urgency Hangar. It's practically a spa.
Ya, I need to get my W.A.S.T.E. stamped soon anyway. I'll get the lavender. I know which one you mean.
The day they started giving out Waiver and Acceptance of Social Toxicity Estimates to K's was the day they say we got our freedom.
Better psych care anyway.
I say volca to that.
K's fly spread eagle.
Trans. by Phyliss (embedded)
au revoir dragon cracheur
poison divin de l'hypnose
fabricant de transe flamboyante
l'obéissance des zombies
impossible à domestiquer
en raison de la taille
sur le plan pratique
et pour lequel tu es destiné à errer
comme le coeur qui te remplit de sang
bat plus ouvertement que jamais
un jour tu pourrais de nouveau
poser une silhouette puissante
mais ils t'ont coupé la langue
mais vous apprendrez à exprimer votre
dénigrement d'une autre manière
par Santorabo
He was a greasy little aryan. During that first meeting at the goat ranch, I posed and framed in ways I thought would get his eyes to drop. Finally I realized he was more sophisticated than that. He used his peripheral sight, which had developed throughout his awakening years in a red state, to map every bend and notch of my visible surface and behaviors, to precisely gauge biological changes. We were alone in the bread shaped tube of a trailer home.
He rested back on the kitchen sink and looked around like a good worker still in task mode. I felt free to stare directly knowing he could see that too but respected feared men me too much to make a move to get to work on the project about which we were both entertaining growing visions.
He smelled like cooking and flannel. He was channeling desire into rage at the spitting llama he'd tried to shave that morning. He'd like to chop its head off. See it run around with just it's neck swaying about. I swatted the fly on my levi's with my hand and left it there.
We each had our end. Thinking about ways to get to the middle. The middle of his face was a goatee on a tan around a roomy mouth. Now he was talking about the island that breaks the surface of a bath, with the palm tree and grass. The center of the island. What had I missed.
When I looked up I could finally see his blue-gray stare right on me, waiting for a reaction. I just laughed and started unlacing my boots. Ya he says after all the goat piss and bullheads i bet you'd like a shower.
Naw, I'm good if you're good.
por Santorabo
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