Optimistic flotsam

They have to kick balloons to walk
Before the help with popping sticks
Fans through aisles and over stages
Jabbing in competition with a child
To quell the last optimistic flotsam

Self-loathing and hate, exasperation, fatigue

Mood was fine, then
bus driver aimed the door to stop way ahead
and even though it was a white person getting
off, I held it against her and didn't look her in
the eye as I put the money in the slot. Then I
couldn't get out and she said press the button
in the box, and a black woman behind me said
thank you to the driver and pressed the button
for me and I did hate everyone for a while as
I walked up the sidewalk. Then finally when I
went to check out with a protein shake, I asked
nicely for a couple of fives to take the bus and
the cashier said sure no problem and my whole
world became again a dreamer's paradise. Now
however, I recall the part I've blanked out: an
earnest prayer said just before through a storm
of self-loathing and hate, exasperation, fatigue


Jan Jansdaad, Jr.
Dr. Donna Thong
Case Management Intern

RE-CAP: cleo

chank excavation

heeza kanga the thangah

READ ME

I AM A NOTE INSIDE A WALL
FROM 2013

Apes on turtles

phone for sophisticated luddites
carrying on unto inconceivability

replacement of modernity by tec
hnology: more hustlers in stores

we see apes rolling in on turtles,
arthritic metacarpal-phelangeals

Choking Technocratic Layer

Sorry not to have more carefully parsed the sticks and noughts

As regards your proprietary and/or franchise participating eggs

to step across guiding expecting evaluating eggs spouting their

instructions admonitions hundreds of modules packed with the

blood and sweat of someone in the bowels of the grift platform

who churns out help materials so offensively unhelpful that the

product makes more neediness for real help from sham helping

Tom 
"You can be older and still on a revolutionary vanguard: against mandatory yet fraudulent embetterment."

Anew

a forest's waste
hangs and tumbled
junk. dripping,
waits as forces suck
the black paste back
in. frozen, from an
elbow swings free
parts harden to a
finer end. animals
that participate add
vim to glue but then
but recreate anew.


by Sylvia

Deepest place

for a moment I saw my psyche as a piece of real estate,
the architecture of a tree house with many round shades;
and this it appears to me means it's an inhabited system
but also that the tyranny of civilization applies, even
in that deepest sleeping place you can go before a coma


Love, Donna

skylight

Angelique Carmina

It feels like the whole
human race: go round
thinking it's my party,
wreaking havoc, the
fame-to-shame swang;
night is not a reward
but a defeat; anger is
a way that I can exp-
ress my sexuality or
gender for all to see it.

It looks like I'm onto
getting an object done
getting on hard effect-
ting a one-thing-to-an
-other change, or just
really pumped up and
that works cosmetically
for me; my partners ev-
er play the victim, but
it perpetuates attraction.


by Angelique Carmina

we're equidistant from the gate and each other

 

we're uncomfortably close
except when playing this
intergalactic starship game

we've formed a fleet and
move synchronous stealthy
toward the warp apparatus

missions are ridiculously
easy now less strategizing
with the brute force of two


Hoolie
"For you Mike"

Coprolaic

I'm coprolaic
I cannot hold my shit
hormones that brush past
my amygdalae are agressic

in a spike I don't handle life
well, only want to spit
and create strife;
fuck it.


Reptily

Lookup

You're calling back from the future but
it seems to me you call from the past
And you're calling me in the past but
I too am here in the future just not with

you. It's just that it didn't last, and then
we were friends and then your descent
your hostages your promises awakening
and then fool me twice and now you call

me here, lost in time, or rolled in the
torrents. I reach back not forward I find
what I know is true in those dioramas
down here at the bottom of the vortex


Sylvia

Sex changed my life

now i'm insane
but i can still recall
the initial stain
the birth of all

innocence crossed
overlapped activity
way past nativity
and never got lost

only knowing sets
in; trust if not dread
what ea. path begets
is grounded to a bed


Jan Jansdaad
"I'm the dad of my daughter Jan. My dad too was named Jan after his, etc. Jan can name her son or daughter Jan and may already have."

hip click

 

daylight hours are too fraught, still
less than evening's piqued replays,
and my hip clicks walking near the
ears of the seated; i'm an amazing

thing. here, deep night comes into
play. life for most is suspended, a
pool in two dimensions, while the
fewer number brave grateful sighs.

tho paucity of sun will block sight
one might grope around to identify
the very young and going old and
otherwise awake n' hopeless ones.


by Donna

Stuck in a drama means

chemical love dungeon:
stuck in a drama means
you see and feel all of it

the slow gut gyration is
wait that could be a bug:
ulcerous source as moot

i pray to be grateful for
this opportunity to have
these particular horrors:


Reptily
"Ima continue."

Bounds of trespass

you'll have the old farm house next to the new one because they owned all that property. Then the old one might become a huge compost heap, storage out building, rental, haunted ancestors. Then the farmers move away to a city and workers and machines till the soil and one or both houses might go roofless turning back to the land with remains, maybe the cement pool and patio, coated in pesticide

i said i don't like anything but i used to like that back before they kicked my ass out of there. now there's only intimate persons and no new world, back to primal shack, no more camping out at the cusp of the void in kumeyaay cahuilla and torres-martinez home, always the spaceman the visitor, no reason for pride in ancient family grants, and then the safe anonymity within the bounds of trespass

grrlie

adolescents challenging language