They can't handle reality.

The ladies are a little out of breath after tromping around in circles, their feet laden with muck, until they've destroyed all of the old tree stumps, especially, that were keeping them from comfortably lying down. It is warm and pleasant there in the swamp. Releasing their urine into it, they settle in, chins on claws, for some fun "philosophical forum" time. 

JAN: You sound like you think reality is just this one thing, this one way we've always defined reality. 

PEG: You suggest I should think of reality as many things. 

JAN: No. It's only one thing. But you may not find that one thing unless you take a pull on the shiv. 

PEG: The shiv is a spiritual tool, a sacred ritual that has been bastardized capitalized and stylized into just another mind altering joy ride. 

JAN: But that's the thing. That's reality. The joy ride. 

PEG: To find the rule you must partake in an exception to the rule? 

JAN: Yes. 

PEG: You are probably going to say that what conscious animals have created, have turned the world into, is irreality. 

JAN: Yes. It's essentially a takeitoutist philosophy. First came the simulationists and their what-ifs. An actual simulation of reality was being built all around them while they pondered. Remember that the K5000 was still very much a part of our airspace back then. It allowed MPS to build their fantasy society and make the rest of us think it was our idea. 

PEG: The world as we know it: a simulation built by conscious animals. Who are terrified.

JAN: More than anything. 

PEG: And they are officially against pulling the shiv outside temple grounds because

JAN: They can't handle reality. 

PEG: They can't handle everyone having access to reality because it would destroy their brand and their business. 

JAN: I've been pulling the shiv all morning, how about you? 

BOTH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The hearty enjoyment of these close friends, as always, had tragic consequences. All life forms within a wide circumference, any that enjoyed the gift of hearing, including a small troop of MPS scouts on an airboat tour, were rendered permanently deaf by the ultrasonic cackling.