Monday, January 11, 2010

Pardon Me for Mattering

"Find Doggies' Tummies Imitate Sounds Around Them"

In the "woods," dogs' stomach and other sleeping noises would sound more like proverbial trees falling, we might guess. But here on Earth, you can discern everything from foreign voices speaking in tongues to electronic music and gaming chatter. Just the other day, Jesus Christ imitator Hoolie O'Toole was sent to jail for demonstrating that certain sets of instructions could be heard as well as followed from the bowels of a sleeping street bitch while in REM-Heat. The animal has been transported to a shelter thousands of miles away in the State of Maine where, "more than any other pound," her tired ass explained, "they treated me like I mattered."


  1. Street B.08:47

    Whut my bowels actually said was: "Pound-per-pound, they treated my tired ass more like it mattered in Maine."

  2. J's got a list of things that are OK on the fridge in hell centro. Number 7 says it's OK not to smile when you cry. But I started crying and Winston licked my face so much all I could do was laugh.