what happened to me privately, converse to any choice i'd make
became performance through reporting as in a passion play, the
details of my victimization, and i say it that way as a nod to my
audience, who needed some blanks filled in, but also even after,
in performative description, so as to gather empathy
from ghosts, scarecrows, invaders, exploiters, the righteous blinded:
assault on me is now a thing that they can see and be seen seeing
i neither submitted nor killed because there was no choice to
make as an unconscious body, only a being state, target for a man's
acting out desire, fantasy, hate, grief, curiosity, lust, disrespect on
a responseless warm human figure who mostly can't see or can't
remember, couldn't move or argue race or gender, agency, consent,
the weather, how my choices got me to this, and his, our destiny:
knowing full well if i retaliate, i make it all come down on me again.
by Peg
Friday, July 24, 2020
Monday, July 13, 2020
flesh-coloured virus
it started as a virus but i didn't notice
since the color of the bumps matched
my complexion
i'd only seen it once before, and just
a dot of it, and that was on my father,
back of his hand
mine were few, but one on my foot
was activated during an attack of
fire ant itching
from there they flamed, while beige,
enough to startle any dermatologist
from commenting
it's as if they've looked and seen their
own lives pass before them in
shallow relief
Ilyn
Jornada de Banyos Calientes
since the color of the bumps matched
my complexion
i'd only seen it once before, and just
a dot of it, and that was on my father,
back of his hand
mine were few, but one on my foot
was activated during an attack of
fire ant itching
from there they flamed, while beige,
enough to startle any dermatologist
from commenting
it's as if they've looked and seen their
own lives pass before them in
shallow relief
Ilyn
Jornada de Banyos Calientes
Wednesday, July 8, 2020
Difficult persons club
my non-traditional family
we were very immature actually
no one wanted a parent role
if you're talking gestalt, the
adult-adult transaction was
more about manly tool use
and there was the night
a creature tore shrieking down
the hall in a black slip
authentic expressions of socially
counter-intuitive archetypes were
contrary to easy
like any submarine of the
enraged, engaged, and
stuck on mutual aid
delight had to be wrenched
from a deep hard place and
cauterized in the pool
by Mike
Mike's Swimming Blog #Appendix
we were very immature actually
no one wanted a parent role
if you're talking gestalt, the
adult-adult transaction was
more about manly tool use
and there was the night
a creature tore shrieking down
the hall in a black slip
authentic expressions of socially
counter-intuitive archetypes were
contrary to easy
like any submarine of the
enraged, engaged, and
stuck on mutual aid
delight had to be wrenched
from a deep hard place and
cauterized in the pool
by Mike
Mike's Swimming Blog #Appendix
Labels:
Mike
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
We bred them to forgive
I need an outlet for my
transgressiveness
so i don't end up in jail
they used to say that life's a
script you write
not the kind you steal
if i could choose the wave to
get swept up in
i'd be master of my days
if i commit to doing
wrong always
i will never fail
Reptily
Reptily in Exurbia (frag.)
transgressiveness
so i don't end up in jail
they used to say that life's a
script you write
not the kind you steal
if i could choose the wave to
get swept up in
i'd be master of my days
if i commit to doing
wrong always
i will never fail
Reptily
Reptily in Exurbia (frag.)
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
FOR TONY
how can you still look 40 when you've been 50 years getting fucked by murdering presidents
how can you be sitting down when a clock is ticking that's already taken my family down
can you let it register on your face after all this time the terror of having done it all wrong
you let them die
you're letting them
die, die, die, die
etc.
by Hoolie
"Read to the music you likely hear accompanying it in your mind."
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Kick me out, and keep me out!!
I should have known there would already be a gay Paul Bunyan & Babe the Blue Ox series of X-rated adventures.
The reason I didn't know is that I hate reading gay fiction as a genre which of course also makes it hard to write both since I hate it and also having to reinvent the wheel.
Lesson: Every wheel has already been invented. Playing naive nobody will buy it. That you are so un-read. As to have no idea about it and also arrogant.
Once again I swear it's alright if you want to cancel me do it now, eat me first. I want to take full advantage of the benefits resulting from catastrophe.
Stop me while I'm still sizzling hot, boys. I've grown exponentially more irresistibly rugged (although now i'm reaching the top): Because too many bullies in gladiator camp
I'm a dropout. All my training has been direct and in the field, them or me, and when society was a child. A man's got no choice but to go it alone when he knows that
Any group he joins will have a remarkably similar percentage of bullies looking for a long-term relationship, and they will smell you and they will come to you.
Better taking them as they come on the street or in an office and take them unsparingly, as if your own life means nothing to you, in fact less to you than it obviously does to a bully
Neither those who are infatuated with you nor you yourself are a gift of or to society; we are the necessary triggers that build natural defenses that make pearls from
Grains of discord, hot with hate, covered over by hardening slime, an anti-semen, shadow excretion that enrages men, makes them crazy for about on each other.
And then there is Paul, alone with a super-human animal, which says it all.
by Ilyn
(and Shab, of course)
The reason I didn't know is that I hate reading gay fiction as a genre which of course also makes it hard to write both since I hate it and also having to reinvent the wheel.
Lesson: Every wheel has already been invented. Playing naive nobody will buy it. That you are so un-read. As to have no idea about it and also arrogant.
Once again I swear it's alright if you want to cancel me do it now, eat me first. I want to take full advantage of the benefits resulting from catastrophe.
Stop me while I'm still sizzling hot, boys. I've grown exponentially more irresistibly rugged (although now i'm reaching the top): Because too many bullies in gladiator camp
I'm a dropout. All my training has been direct and in the field, them or me, and when society was a child. A man's got no choice but to go it alone when he knows that
Any group he joins will have a remarkably similar percentage of bullies looking for a long-term relationship, and they will smell you and they will come to you.
Better taking them as they come on the street or in an office and take them unsparingly, as if your own life means nothing to you, in fact less to you than it obviously does to a bully
Neither those who are infatuated with you nor you yourself are a gift of or to society; we are the necessary triggers that build natural defenses that make pearls from
Grains of discord, hot with hate, covered over by hardening slime, an anti-semen, shadow excretion that enrages men, makes them crazy for about on each other.
And then there is Paul, alone with a super-human animal, which says it all.
by Ilyn
(and Shab, of course)
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Metaproject: Project List
I have only three thangs to say:
mm, mm, and mm. Mm-mm-mm.
The download page is infected with
malware.
My instrument will not play. It is
rendered useless without the proprietary software packages.
Momentarily the keys tooted like a "funky organ,"
then nothing, and all other sounds followed
into that electronic drain hole if they were even
being produced at all by that point
all music, no matter the source, was
ravaged
how ravaged was it you might ask?
I would say very ravaged.
To the point where the only sounds were
created by the cooling fans within the console itself.
Dr. Donna Spah-Thong
"Once a doctor, always a doctor."
mm, mm, and mm. Mm-mm-mm.
The download page is infected with
malware.
My instrument will not play. It is
rendered useless without the proprietary software packages.
Momentarily the keys tooted like a "funky organ,"
then nothing, and all other sounds followed
into that electronic drain hole if they were even
being produced at all by that point
all music, no matter the source, was
ravaged
how ravaged was it you might ask?
I would say very ravaged.
To the point where the only sounds were
created by the cooling fans within the console itself.
Dr. Donna Spah-Thong
"Once a doctor, always a doctor."
Labels:
dr. donna thong
Monday, June 15, 2020
I am a robot and I will save your life if you turn over all your worldly goods to me
We ask how some of the tenets of houseist theory can be extrapolated.
A houseist might set accessibility, for example, as a special category for cleaning evaluations. Orderliness or what we normally think of as orderliness does not necessarily apply as a best practice here. I know where my phone is because it's in the phone place. The phone place doesn't need a sign or assignment in either physical or digital worlds. I can't keep my phone place on my phone, for example, because it exists in my mind, which is after all a perfectly legitimate place to keep information especially when situations are so fluid as to render hand-drawn signs or even typed file names instantly moot.
Having crap all over the place can make good sense during periods of uncertainty and flux. However, be mindful of how widespread that crap and how big the sides like stress level to maintain it for long periods, especially after the bottom layers become resolved and have achieved waste or archive status, where the norms of "cleaning" kick back into place.
Donna
From "Notes for presentation proposal: Association of the Meta-Cognitive Talk Therapy Apologist Movement National Convention, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 'Hanging Out Matters,' 2020."
A houseist might set accessibility, for example, as a special category for cleaning evaluations. Orderliness or what we normally think of as orderliness does not necessarily apply as a best practice here. I know where my phone is because it's in the phone place. The phone place doesn't need a sign or assignment in either physical or digital worlds. I can't keep my phone place on my phone, for example, because it exists in my mind, which is after all a perfectly legitimate place to keep information especially when situations are so fluid as to render hand-drawn signs or even typed file names instantly moot.
Having crap all over the place can make good sense during periods of uncertainty and flux. However, be mindful of how widespread that crap and how big the sides like stress level to maintain it for long periods, especially after the bottom layers become resolved and have achieved waste or archive status, where the norms of "cleaning" kick back into place.
Donna
From "Notes for presentation proposal: Association of the Meta-Cognitive Talk Therapy Apologist Movement National Convention, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 'Hanging Out Matters,' 2020."
Saturday, June 6, 2020
they seem delusional
first there was the cutest baby cardinal, big head
hopping in grass cut to his bib
then the warning came out take cover now
went for a walk, fed the dog
south side windows were sunny
in the north clouds were sucking
it's unstable, yet the babies play
we agreed to don masks
but also adding mimicry of foreign accents
and false mustaches
mayor sez bein a K shouldn't be a life sentence
though some think it one
but they've made it so they can put you in a
cage made of human tissue and bones
and you live there letting others love your
life, can't hear your cries
if we could step out of the chicken suit
and just go on a date
but the context baby is previously owned
they might seem delusional
but this is our home, in their sleep. wait
a bit longer till they're gone.
by Peg
(Petty Entry-level Geriatric)
hopping in grass cut to his bib
then the warning came out take cover now
went for a walk, fed the dog
south side windows were sunny
in the north clouds were sucking
it's unstable, yet the babies play
we agreed to don masks
but also adding mimicry of foreign accents
and false mustaches
mayor sez bein a K shouldn't be a life sentence
though some think it one
but they've made it so they can put you in a
cage made of human tissue and bones
and you live there letting others love your
life, can't hear your cries
if we could step out of the chicken suit
and just go on a date
but the context baby is previously owned
they might seem delusional
but this is our home, in their sleep. wait
a bit longer till they're gone.
by Peg
(Petty Entry-level Geriatric)
Labels:
name game,
Peggy (Pegyuh)
Seeing Red, Except It's Blue
flower child's child's child's child
please don't look backwards
to see the flowers
pricks can create an itch that
you might not even mention
for the pain
even smiling, beware the
words that only sound good
singing
by Reptily
"In retrospect."
please don't look backwards
to see the flowers
pricks can create an itch that
you might not even mention
for the pain
even smiling, beware the
words that only sound good
singing
by Reptily
"In retrospect."
apenas, juan
apenas, juan
que olvidara
your sister's name
apenas, y nunca
podria dejarte in
Spain.
por si caso leas
tu esta nota de
botella
no me digas
que no me quieras
mas que ella
por Santorabo
que olvidara
your sister's name
apenas, y nunca
podria dejarte in
Spain.
por si caso leas
tu esta nota de
botella
no me digas
que no me quieras
mas que ella
por Santorabo
Labels:
Santorabo
This is the proper way to pronounce your name in my language
We manipulated a web learning object
that had been set up to spell your name
using negative adjectives about people.
each adjective came with a story card
that created a comic strip about you
based on the spelling of your name.
but then we quickly realized we couldn't
play drums and breathe at the same time
for example. We also began to hear spirit
pipes of the ancestors, and when the
spells came, i recognized that i was in
fact dictatorial obtuse nerd nerd awkward.
by Donna
that had been set up to spell your name
using negative adjectives about people.
each adjective came with a story card
that created a comic strip about you
based on the spelling of your name.
but then we quickly realized we couldn't
play drums and breathe at the same time
for example. We also began to hear spirit
pipes of the ancestors, and when the
spells came, i recognized that i was in
fact dictatorial obtuse nerd nerd awkward.
by Donna
Labels:
dr. donna thong,
name game
Monday, May 18, 2020
gross roach jar
hypnotic mix of cool and blue-grey weather
i reject each and every part of my life and yours
there's a psychological test to gauge which
board of directors will take charge of your
then you are released, like a product, out onto
the wavy game board. they get a win from you.
everyone with a 401k, a pension, is on your side
those who'd terminate the sick aren't economists
any more than the cure makers are. Who's to
say what creates the widest wellness overall?
a glass jar gets heat from a micro compost heap
the stinking contents swell from months half
baked. every item in the supply chain is reas-
sessed and slated for such a contingency plan
your bottles, your breads and cake, pork fat
render your freedom moot in many scenarios
as i sit here denying your existence i feel peace
the stillness of utter failure and condemnation
but the heart ticks on not for perfection but
rather revenge, karmic verdict, i sit here in
prayer for your punished agency girlish plans
selfishness turned sour every visible feature
of the material word with a sign on it saying
you piece of shit you fucked up fuck you for-
ever. and then, peace. for me. peace in some
relish a hammock of amorality a non-necessity
even to breath to allow the bichos the fauna to
crawl as did the Buddha beneath a dripping tree
Dr. Donna Thong
Temporary Emergency Credential Pending
i reject each and every part of my life and yours
there's a psychological test to gauge which
board of directors will take charge of your
then you are released, like a product, out onto
the wavy game board. they get a win from you.
everyone with a 401k, a pension, is on your side
those who'd terminate the sick aren't economists
any more than the cure makers are. Who's to
say what creates the widest wellness overall?
a glass jar gets heat from a micro compost heap
the stinking contents swell from months half
baked. every item in the supply chain is reas-
sessed and slated for such a contingency plan
your bottles, your breads and cake, pork fat
render your freedom moot in many scenarios
as i sit here denying your existence i feel peace
the stillness of utter failure and condemnation
but the heart ticks on not for perfection but
rather revenge, karmic verdict, i sit here in
prayer for your punished agency girlish plans
selfishness turned sour every visible feature
of the material word with a sign on it saying
you piece of shit you fucked up fuck you for-
ever. and then, peace. for me. peace in some
relish a hammock of amorality a non-necessity
even to breath to allow the bichos the fauna to
crawl as did the Buddha beneath a dripping tree
Dr. Donna Thong
Temporary Emergency Credential Pending
Thursday, May 14, 2020
todays dog walk
my cedar infested with orange-jelly
gall blossom tentacles
change of shades in spring-mown
lawn grass
back at control center swivel chair
coffee-mug warmer
Invisible circuitry, multi-purpose
sprays, death game
gall blossom tentacles
change of shades in spring-mown
lawn grass
back at control center swivel chair
coffee-mug warmer
Invisible circuitry, multi-purpose
sprays, death game
Friday, May 1, 2020
The Extended Real Job Experience
- Lil' Baby
- Prop son
- Church singer
- Preacher's organ monkey
- extra
- Gifted schoolboy
- news deliverer
- dreamy root-beer hop
- Rebellious hot-pants wearing meadow runner
- Theater jock
- Woods freak
- People's free meat grocery cashier
- Fur vault hunchback
- Partier
- Precocious beatnik throwback
- Club dancer
- Ho
- Brash critic
- Xerox operator
- club poet
- sideshow
- tutor
- Penitent teacher of children
- Sober beach guy
- Demigod, gym
- Security Guard, parking lot
- Estampificador of deeds
- Daily sub: East LA
- Counselor, the bad boys
- Weekend staff, group home
- Long-term sub, single
- Private teacher, Major European Country, Confidential
- Small groups, companies, individuals, conversation, native, pleasant affect, expensive
- Adjunct, Ancient European University, Confidential
- Internet rodeo rider, supervising
- Universal contender
- Downsizer, deflector of the exploited
- Local community college superstar
- Rhetorical Cage Fighter
- Monster (pariah)
- New Guy is an Old Guy (Meh)
- Turner of It Up a Notch or Two Too Much Higher
- No
- My Bed (that I had made) Recliner
- shiksa
- Sadhu, wandering
- Useful American Pet Uncle for spawn of oil kingdom
- Consumer zealot
- Dealer in Overpriced Antiquities
Friday, April 24, 2020
labor issue
it writhed in the stainless steel basin
that and deep aquamarine rubber
were the first colors ever seen
its core was a vertical windmill
that spun with the vagaries of
gaze regard media touch action
like any wheel, finally redundant
yet carrying on because of physics
yet in control of the money presses
that and deep aquamarine rubber
were the first colors ever seen
its core was a vertical windmill
that spun with the vagaries of
gaze regard media touch action
like any wheel, finally redundant
yet carrying on because of physics
yet in control of the money presses
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
Today's dog walk
I went to an emergency website for dough that doesn't rise
There were a number of interventions
but no admonishment for panic
Apparently there's a sinkhole in the bottom of the gut
n' when it's raw from taking want and glut
it starts to pump its own philosophy
There were a number of interventions
but no admonishment for panic
Apparently there's a sinkhole in the bottom of the gut
n' when it's raw from taking want and glut
it starts to pump its own philosophy
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Today's dog walk
A crow fought perhaps with himself
One set of wings and needles of the bough
Bouncing and of course squawking
He looks like the dog who lives there.
Well, he isn't.
He's handsome! Or she is.
Cold sun, a parkway middle of the tulip
stand had exploded sawdust added
perhaps explaining the power outage.
One set of wings and needles of the bough
Bouncing and of course squawking
He looks like the dog who lives there.
Well, he isn't.
He's handsome! Or she is.
Cold sun, a parkway middle of the tulip
stand had exploded sawdust added
perhaps explaining the power outage.
Friday, April 17, 2020
Today's dog walk
Whiter snow than has ever been seen before
brushed on grass that's already deep green, not mowed
Looking up, vultures still enjoying their advantage
above whose house circling, we get closer faster
than just our own click; it's that they too are edging
toward us. Contrast the anxious red swelling waxy
buds on the grey branches against the pale sky
and fifteen or so carnivorous brothers and sisters
brushed on grass that's already deep green, not mowed
Looking up, vultures still enjoying their advantage
above whose house circling, we get closer faster
than just our own click; it's that they too are edging
toward us. Contrast the anxious red swelling waxy
buds on the grey branches against the pale sky
and fifteen or so carnivorous brothers and sisters
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