Wasted in Good Shoes

sure that's the story of my life
wasted in good shoes because
for what more have I requested

my current job: to create a task
to practice the replacement of
low-info words with high ones.

i feel i could say more but why
who i ask who wants to know
who's not up their ass aloof with

terror. disguised also as disdain
who's not afraid or disdainful?
even the professionals shame

themselves over the inadequa-
cy of their trade to quell the tide
of bullshit the great leveler

doctors blame their own lazy
arrogance inventors their
craven leveraging monetizing

used to be you could ask who
do i see if i wanna put an enemy
to rest answer was your army

now it isn't even alarming when
every store front a font for mur-
der, your own reflection in the

glass could for a moment make
you wonder is that pale beast a
killer or how disdainful at best



Dr. Donna Thong

Take Your Pants Off, Mr. Green Jeans

That tingling at top of head and breathlessness, nonspecific terror
Dogs me from garbage disposal to mailbox and out to the car
The icebergs dropping off: missed tax year due to obama care
The amount I owe exceeds what I'd saved by having an insurer
And I can't get ahead because I can't afford accountants or a lawyer
And if I want to refinance, I'll need that year's return to get out of here
To pay off the down payment from the government I got to stay 5 years
But then almost anyone would pay to get out of solitary
All my friends and lovers i used to call a non-traditional family back there
Spread back into the winds that always caress the desert
From dry air I come to this fungal great lakes misery
At least there's less sun to contribute to my recurrent skin cancers.

by Donna

worker child

have gravy, tenderloin and flair jeans
vinyl case for cigarette pack with
a loop and snap top for the lighter

four to midnight get a break time
with a magazine or paper; maybe
you wrote a letter to the editor

a room with mechanical machines
a room with towering reel-to-reel
tape drives behind formica, buttons

green and red and yellow blinking
reset beepers with timers, and your
whole arm could hold 13 or so reels

this weight on the arms of a ballet
trainee, 13 on each arm, the wrists
having fit through the holes perfectly

the lead operator had a racket going
slapping reset buttons, barking at
us to reset the beeping buttons so it

would look like we were attending
to the reels much more quickly than
we were or possibly could have done

planning to spend the rest of the
night dancing in a club, sweating,
drinking, dancing, cabbing home.



by Hoolie

Smart-ass child with an enormous beard

Smart-ass child with an enormous beard
you seem to appear as well from behind steam

and in your wisdom
have chosen a medallion

to commemorate a playoff
at your neck

you swore the newer technology
did not come with an adapter plug
but of course it did

Sorn Gorn Dorn

sorn gorn dorn
naw tamir
ini stone
way we leaf

tayco stain
ona watu sai
you k hee
butta wa-ai pay

[repeat]

Pharmsupply's Prolabique LipLine Master-Lisp "Lipstickventory" Name Galleys 88rx: lipsticks 2020

• all i get is pretty
• a pinch
• blankets for teeth
• blind fury
• blowers for algernon
• blur
• Bogue R. Dit
• brank-ish
• breeder
• bubbles
• cashed bowl
• category 6
• chipotle wind
• duck-taped pepper grinder
• eyelids of the mouth
• fi'nna
• fish clamp
• go boom 
• great lakes region
• grrrainy day
• hairy
• how devastating?
• indefensible
• lawn salad
• morgue ship
• move-over ripe
• nothingburger
• ocular migraine
• pay me
• perverse motivation
• property value
• ribbon event
• salted slug
• shiny purse
• Showing Green
• slapjack
• smartass
• smoking lines
• so...
• soccer ball
• Sorn Gorn Dorn
• steak
• stitches
• sugar drift
• thin
• topless
  
• torn open
• torrid crepe
• twouldn't
• very devastating
• void
• warm roach
• when
• white on tan
• wrap
• you know, I don't? but thank you

When?

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with hate, resentment, exasperation, anger

Sounds come out my mouth or I have to slam a door

And if the door doesn't slam satisfyingly

Heaven help the the the...


Does it matter if I get home early, late anymore-- I mean who is there?

At least at work it feels like I have a purpose or

I am interacting with other human beings

Am I too enmeshed with my dog and and...


The most passionate engagement is with other cars in traffic

My entire body becomes involved in utterances

My heart pounds harder and longer even perhaps than

When when when when?



by Donna

Homeschooled Master Race

I hope I spanked him like his daddy never could.

Thanks for dropping off letter and Shiv book

Thanks for your note, Aunt Jan. Pastor Caviar (see link) could better answer your Shiv question. He is just the tip of the iceberg of reasons why I feel highly allergic to "theology."

Perhaps well-meaning Shiv stars can be found in large numbers behind the right-wing politicians that are taking over the world and the same ideologies that Grandpa Jansdaad died fighting in Europe.

Most of the civilized world sees Shivas as dupes to a very dark political agenda that we see being successfully carried out before our eyes as our planet dies and our democracies crumble.

I'll be reading Uncle Jan's letter, but not the book.

Love, Jan

I'm no theologian

I'm no theologian, but I do evaluate human arguments for a living, and I can tell you that neither of yours is anything to write home about.

As regards the wedding, I maintain that an ounce of compassion weighs more than a ton of theology.

I apologize for my own scorched-earth rhetoric on this topic to date, but I hope you wouldn't hold that against Jan.

I've shown up for two of Jan Janzdaad's weddings, and for me that was about respect and love and family. It had also meant a great deal to me when she came for her visit to Chukkachank.

I'm sure I can't adequately explain how painful it is to see and hear your responses, which from my point of view come across as cold, cruel, selfish, petty, and clueless. Admittedly, I got the ball rolling with overwrought, hyperbolic, crass, sarcastic, and disrespectful.

As the only son of your only brother, Jan, how many favors have I asked of you? Is there mistake or misdeed I have the power to put right that could help persuade? Weren't you supposed to say something to us back in WD93 like "If there's ever anything..."?

I'm going to suggest to Jan that, if your attendance really is important to her, that she call or write to each of you to let you know. I've begun to wonder how well you understand the importance of this to her. Or perhaps it's me who doesn't understand. Or perhaps Jan won't even come to think about it seriously until after it's too late.

Please understand that in reaching out to you, I mean to reach out for a stronger, warmer, closer, safer human bond between us as people, family members, Americans-- not to try and break your religion.

by Jan

Low-class hillbilly breeder cult

Without that, all the Bible verses in the world are useless.

Maybe you have already changed the lock

WD

Dear Peg:

Please find enclosed what Hoolie described as a copy of his apartment key.

Maybe you have already changed the lock, but I thought he and you would feel better having this back.

You probably agree that it’s probably not a good idea for a tenant to provide a key to a paramour and then to immediately “ghost” that paramour. Few actions piss people off more, I believe, than being showered with affection for months, including the promise of cohabitation, and then one day nothing—you are barred from all platforms, like you never existed.

It’s what the kids are doing these days that passes for breaking up and/or replaces having to have difficult conversations, I guess. I wish I was still a kid.

Of course I started out pissed off, then I was distraught, then suspicious, and now just very, very, very sad.

Maybe Hoolie is also sad and wishes we could start again…. maybe he is diabolical and cruel—I no longer can hazard a guess. I don’t know what to think. (If he was dead, I don’t think he would have taken the trouble to remove himself from TwatsApp).

I’m telling you all this because we’ve met and you seem decent, that you care about Hoolie, and that you seem curious by nature.

Perhaps I am seeking a better understanding about the situation since you may know him better. I am truly at a loss.

Thanks again for helping with my hooptie—I wish this situation were similarly just a big mistake, but I fear it’s just the new normal.

Best regards,



Jan

The next affair

could be a junkie sees a vision how he gonna land
but he don't mind still peaking from the medicine

face plant ass sticking up into the quiet air
won't seem so bad if you keep planning for the next affair



by Jan

Coming out ahead

i still have some of the energy
i got from the bad thing we had
not sure if that means i'm
coming out ahead
because before it started
i was so miserable



by Jan

If it's BPD

if this is a bpd thing
i'm willing to work with you on it
no cancel that
it's intractable and always brief
if that's what it is
i'm sure it's already over



by Jan

Destructive to a relationship

Well i've been waiting with my
phone on my body all day
hoping you would buzz me
this makes me really sad
this freezing behavior is painful and
i don't think i deserve it
it's destructive to a relationship



by Jan

You're fake

You're fake
That's ok
It was fun
Now fuck off



by Jan

bocas colgantes

the night it's dark
our love it sparks
a vision

the rest a tale
our ships they sail
parallel

our breath as one
the legs they run
in tandem

our pasts they're gone
our now it's found
yawning wide




Vikki Brazil