Sunday, February 18, 2024

Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better


[create image] In the steaming rubble of his family's vittles emporium, on [change to] a heap of steaming rubble rising above a small crowd of dazed and angry flekes, Jan Jansdaad stands [create image] balancing himself on bare feet at the top of the heap. [create moving image] He raises an arm in a classic rhetorical manner, and a bandage unfurls from his wrist: the symbol we know of today as [create image] our flag, a single white ribbon with an embroidered scarlet J.

[Add dialog Clip #] As I stand here on this steaming heap of rubble, all that's left of my family's vittles emporium, all that's left, perhaps, of some members of my family, I wonder how a man can speak still and bear the weight of this horror!

Indeed I wonder how a man can speak and why, apart from doggedly following ancient traditions, we must also submit to the murdering beasts that darken these skies! But I do not require light to see the MPS's treachery! 

Why indeed do we have the gift of speech, unlike those dead just yards below my feet? May we speak so as not to kill or kill when they do not hear us speak! [create image: Jansdaad's fists clenching his bloody tunic]

[Add dialog Clip #] Jan Jansdaad, what can we do now. What is our response? [create image: turban-headed figure in crowd holding both arms high in the air]

[Add dialog Clip #] I chuck my dead into La Mthyuh. I beg that she eat me next. And next, all of you. And then we must destroy the K-5000! [create image: crowd of dusty and injured Jantownsmen shaking fists and shouting or falling to their knees and tearing at their hair; BKGRD: skies obscured by three colossal Ks drizzling rain-like urine] Destroy the K-5000! Destroy the K-5000!




Phyllis [trans.]
from: Practice File 3
MPS Special Seminar:
Make the K-5000 Make Your Job Better

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Remove the word should from your complaint


Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i should pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino. 

Pilgrim 2: ...

Pilgrim 1: How about you?

Pilgrim 2: When i pray to either lachama or Braino or try and reason with either Braino or lachama, after a while, it has become a hypomania, or i enter a fugue state, but not voluntarily.

Pilgrim 1: Is it uncomfortable for you?

Pilgrim 2: What? No.

Pilgrim 1: ...

Pilgrim 2: How about you. You sound confused. 

Pilgrim 1: Ya. Not feeling it at all.

Pilgrim 2: Well lavajraja is not a feeling tho. It is a dharma lavajraja la vajra of lachama. 

Pilgrim 1: Vajraja.

Pilgrim 2: Remove the word should from your complaint.

Pilgrim 1: Huh

Pilgrim 2: Do it

Pilgrim 1: Sometimes i'm not sure if i pray to lachama and try to reason with Braino or try to reason with lachama and pray to Braino.

Pilgrim 2: You're good to go now

Sunday, February 4, 2024

What is the K5000?


This is what we've found while working with the Jans. The moment they become conscious of themselves as autonomous beings in a shared environment is the same moment that they begin to express symptoms of deep-set mental illnesses, personality disorders, what have you—and with aggravations. It just becomes worse when and if they learn that their existence in The Crack is finite. We've had some of our best successes with the ones who've never thought to ask. 

Now watch some frags of Jans early in their work mods mouthing off to assigned peers:

Jan: Why am I doing this, anyway? It's stupid. 

Jan: That's darling: you deadhead marigolds like you've found the key to happiness. 

Jan: Have you ever wondered what you're supposed to do when you leave here?

Jan: The shadows are crossing in the middle now. Before my rest period, they were far apart. 

Jan: I want to touch you. 

Jan: You know what? I believe that Jan and I are really not the same at all. 

Jan: They still want us to do this, but we still don't want to do it. 

Jan: If it were up to me, I would do this more slowly. 

Jan: Sometimes when I'm fulfilling my duties and earning praise, I hate myself and others. 

Jan: Why do they keep reminding us of choices everything is about choices? 

Jan: Seems like the team's on board with personal hygiene but how about overall aesthetics?

Jan: Why do I have the ability to speak aloud?

Jan: Do we work here because we made bad choices?

Jan: Our avatars are really going at it. What do we do in the meantime?

Jan: They say that if it weren't for us, there would be too few natural hominids to develop into a society. I don't believe it. 

Jan: They say the K5000 allows us to access parts of our brains not damaged by trauma. But what was the trauma? Was it the K5000? 

Jan: What is the K5000? 

Jan: What if the K5000 went away? 

 



from: Pathologies abound in trafficked and native Jans in the work space: How we got here
[Presentation]
Dr. Donna Thong
Institute for the Journal of Metacognitive Talk-Therapy Apologists