whether or not you can escape, it will be prolonged

the cancer dust sticks to the radioactive sugar and voila!

only those especially privileged to view the scan can say

whether or not you can escape, it will be prolonged

and then delivered matter of fact as if they'd always known.

and it will be linked, in shame, to an original sin either way

you've lived this believed this wrong and look what's gone down.

and then what an appreciation parade? or worse, none. 

completely undignified but druggie-fun moments of hospice

and then, well, to the big review board overall, were you...

that was your exit interview. you know longer matter in real

time and space, but yes in the electronic gyrations of those

 

just behind you on the trail, in an accessible membrane.

For Hoolie

by Uncle Ilyn

Mucked up with bandage glue

this grey mess

drifts in glue time

on the arms legs and 

random surfaces gets

stuck to newspapers

and press-on nails

ashes, pigeon fluff

walking an old-timey

times square effect

they try to apply 

patches but I'm not

the same already 

as i was just today

putting bandaids on

a building falling down

tho it's sticking me

together now.

by Ilyn

Mike's Swimming Blog #1001

He put rat on my breath

and the seeding trees

outside the ymca

his disregard mixed with

unmistakable compulsion

i can see this his naked facet

we found the woolen dryer balls

in the pillowcases

and they made impressions

what golden days bitterly

hating to the brink of violence

only the chromosomes are

appropriate not the hormones

constant rubbing then none

subordinate in control

by Mike

Sick and ugly cult

we tried their brains

we mocked their children

we shamed them on

all the public highways

 

we set a fire

in the temple shit house

we marked our skin

with the blood of the dead

 

we cut their cocks off

and fed them strained pees

until their faces

were green with shock

 

we took their good faith

and made a cradle 

for all the emblems

of our bold transgressions

by LaChama

Bongo interlude

they question your structure,

administer a needle

you are in a twilight

and in so doing violate the

hardened magma of life

they question so as to

check an earlier predation

by a predesignated enemy

seeking existential ends

by Ilyn

It's your world Abel

It's your world Abel.
Life and Death them
selves are engraved
across your breast.
You've got a daughter;
You just had four
beers at your in-laws.
Even a quick blow
job would be fun.
From nothing, you've
made my life glow--
cleaned under chachkas
I'd not checked in years;
I've taken a shower
young stud, but I'd
like you natural pls.
Except not if there
was pussy; sorry, I
mean only after a
normal work day's
grime for example. It's
your world because
you're bossy and
drunk, Abel. That
type of behavior for
whatever reason makes
me have good luck.



by LoDonna

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

you smell of propellant

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

you make me jealous

 

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

bristling with toys

 

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

form-fitting garb

 

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

where are you now

 

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

please stop me now

 

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

compelling and convincing

dirty antifa boy

dirty antifa boy

 

dirty antifa boy

totally safe sex though

dirty boy

dirty boy

dirty boy

[etc.]

Loop [disco nausea 2]

It's like an asthma attack that comes on every night until dawn.

The world starts spinning faster than before

It feels like swimming head to toe-oh oh

Our bodies find a context in the snow-wo-wo

It's not a trance

It's another dimension

 

You've read the tale; now go to jail!

You've seen the show, now you must blow!

 

Is everything really coming true

Even as I fall out of love with you 

 

HEY [bongo interlude]

 

[loop]

 

 

subconscience

she prays from her hot tub in Deepwell

for those recovering from disembowelment

 

not quite able to muster an argument against

envisioning each step in the process, the

initial renting open, the exposure of the 

entrails, and then their partial or entire

exit from the body cavity. Still another 

layer below, however, lies a wiser member

even below the monotonous mock-moral

chant of the righteous betters, a stiller

beast, a knower of past and future and

potential connector to the divine

By Ted

"For Donna"

Disco nausea

time seems to be standing still

not sure how i'm sposed to feel

i'm smoking to help stand back

but i keep ending up in The Crack

my hatred for you is all i need to keep going

any time that i think of your face it keeps flowing

you reeled me in like a sweet candy striper

taken in by the expressionless mask of a viper

 

it started with just us the two

then another while i was at work

then while at home with the flu

it was easy to guess who you pork

 

 

 

 

by Donna

Key for name game

Awkward

Backbiting

Careless

Dictatorial

Entry level

Frightened

Geriatric

Hellbent

Illogical

Juicer

KKK

Loser

Machiavellian

Nerd

Omnivorous

Petty

Quitter

Rube

Simple

Talker

Unprepared

Vicious

Wimp

Xmas hater

Yahoo

Zitface



by Donna
(Dictatorial Omnivorous Nerd Nerd Awkward) 

Combat pay

Worst tourette's in 30 years
I'm praying to god and then
try Braino and i'm back and forth
when somebody says, This is what
i can do: and a hand grips a lever
like you might see in a cockpit
and draws it down along with
every tic in my face neck and
shoulder, the whole circuit through
which i communicate and suffer
and click and point and decide, all
burnt out from the deviated septum
at the top of my nose to the preter-
connected jaw bone that won't open
and close right to the cervix in the
neck whipping around to the wet
wing-like struggles of the shoulder
blade to be free and finally dis-
located, all calm and moved only
by natural breathing and settling in.
Shab sits by arguing for extra
everything as if it's combat pay.

by Ilyn

Hispanic-themed plan

When i was sane i had crazy red jesus hair 

how it made me look like a flaming canon ball going off the edges of LaMthyuh

how i crawl back up through the rubble of endless punishment

but now my tourette's so bad and they won't give me clonidine cuz it sounds so

druggie, and the other PA says i gotta go back on the opiates so as to come down

easy, so i went for some nicotine patches and they only had 2 and 4 when what 

i need to even begin controlling the tic, which will result in a cervical injury, is a

12 to 16. So i got the 4 gum but it works for like 30 seconds and even my speech is

still contorted from the facial ticking, so i went back and bought a pack of lighters 

and some american spirit. now, as i had prophesized, i have the tic and a nico-monkey

on my back to boot. and eating desserts like crazy. every process of my life is disrupted.

When i went to the emergency room i was still on regular medicare so the hospital chain

i ended up at had to take me tho they prefer to keep out riffraff. Then by the time i was 

out with my four tramadols and a bunch of proton inhibitors i got dropped from regular

medicare and dumped into a hispanic-themed plan with the exotic doctors. I'm thinking countercultural though might be the way to go if i'm thinking there's gonna be a bias against my medicinal cannabis use at all the white hospitals with the five xtian stations to go out on and no msnbc.

by Illyn

Thank you

I still don't fully know or understand what happened
but I still have a profound feeling like you
pulled me back from the other side.

After that I hung against a scrim
and engaged with energized groups of interlocutors
through the gauze

You took my belly in your hands and lightly
shook
with a pleased look at how simple it all is

Baby's on a spectrum

It hurt so much
but it wasn't spose to be
then it hurt me even more
cuz i wouldn't let him free.

i locked him deep inside
i locked him deep inside

i shut him in my car
and laid it on the gas
i tucked him in my bed
all up around his ass

i locked him deep inside
i locked him deep inside 

i put him on the porch
like an alley cat
i kept him in some woods
where he could take a breath

i locked him deep inside
i locked him deep inside
i locked him deep inside

Go take your marijuana

Dirty white leather zipper Bible (he held the)

He was staying with his aunt and uncle
on account of chasing cans at the fair
so he had to go where they went
and they went to church at night
so they gave him his dead cousin's
dirty white leather zipper Bible
which he held gently between his thighs

Lidderly broken inside

coming apart from within
physical connectors, structures

snapping and rolling

splitting, detaching ruptures

lidderly broken inside

i had mistaken the pangs for

"sadness," gut-level terror

a predisposer for suicide

will i get a new lease on life

unbiased by the part that's lived

stretching beyond the knife

return to a pain that's figurative?

by Jan

Today's dog walk

Today a large turd was stuck on a long hair coming out M'Lady's butt, but as she tried to squeeze out the rest, the pendulous turd knocked against her ankles, and it scared her, and she lurched forward, which made the turd swing even harder to come back and spank her on her haunches, which scared her even more, so she took off running like a crazy rabbit in starts and stops until I and a plastic bag finally caught up with her. I felt bad because she had obviously eaten at least one of my hairs, which could actually cause a strangulation of the bowel. I'd say we both better get more serious about not only personal hygiene but also mindfulness around the jetsam and detritus we're always leaving behind in the form of our hairs.

by Jan

Perfick feminist death machine

what happened to me privately, converse to any choice i'd make

became performance through reporting as in a passion play, the

details of my victimization, and i say it that way as a nod to my

audience, who needed some blanks filled in, but also even after,

in performative description, so as to gather empathy

from ghosts, scarecrows, invaders, exploiters, the righteous blinded:

assault on me is now a thing that they can see and be seen seeing


i neither submitted nor killed because there was no choice to

make as an unconscious body, only a being state, target for a man's

acting out desire, fantasy, hate, grief, curiosity, lust, disrespect on

a responseless warm human figure who mostly can't see or can't

remember, couldn't move or argue race or gender, agency, consent,

the weather, how my choices got me to this, and his, our destiny:

knowing full well if i retaliate, i make it all come down on me again.



by Peg