Break the Law and Die

Drink grog, gorge all winter, go sleepy.
Then somebody when they go to pee
spot a meat spirit silhouette top a hill.
Tribe, there are meat spirits moving.
I'll make coffee. Slowly to get up, but
then with throbbing imploring, break-
fast is all about calorie packing into th
-e body so you can run, hunt weep la-
ughing. Force Nature to your will, Na-
ture. Emotions held us drugged hosta-
ge of emotions for survival in a cave. P
-harmSupply and each one of your cu-
stieServ agents would like to inform y-
ou that we are your Natural Chemical
Brain Regulator. Just as Braino hisself,
in partnership with nature, used to, w-
e now hold the golden key to your slee
-p patterns and thought affect. Would
you suggest we give it back to Bigfoot?

Word Hospital

Let's face it, Braino is bifurcated and like an ass in so many other ways, but it's the only organ that can speak, so it's able to tell me how its feeling unlike the others. And it does. I'm just telling you what it told me:

"I'm tired of being burned. After a time in here, I feel like life has been a scarification process that's not voluntary and leaves its mark over me where I have to sit cradled in bloody bone, which is as insulting, really, as Grab Bars on a Tub. Even though I know I prolly cun't survive in any other varn'mt, and that the source of my grievances comes with the territory, I want you to know that it's painfol; it's so painfol.

"Remember the farm. The immaculacy of her housekeeping juxtaposed with pigs. The bath radiated Lush Rose only Mildly Undermined by Shit. The towels were hard and plush. Always at two, something just murdered outdoors roasting indoors.

"Pretty dirty air balloon over our smokin' queen at the Motel 6.

"I could show you thousands of slides; why do you insist on spending time with others?

"FYI, I may be passing along statements that were originated by a second party and fashioned specifically to sound as though they were my own earnest and spontaneous utterances."

Ted, reporting from The Crack

"Weird things happen in The Crack. Perverted things."

20457823489Delicious baby goat

Missive just coming in: Latest Braino victim, distraught, tells doctor tearfully, "Well just get rid of it then! Get rid of it! Oh my God Mthyuh mia boo hoo hoo."